Thursday, September 30, 2004

Three for thought

"A penny will hide the biggest star in the Universe if you hold it close enough to your eye." ~Samuel Grafton

"Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture." ~Russell Baker

There's an alternative. There's always a third way, and it's not a combination of the other two ways. It's a different way." ~David Carradine

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Ockham's Razor and surfing sychronism

Ah.... I was trying to remember the name "Ockham's Razor" in the last day or so, and didn't bother trying to google terms. It was one of those tangents of thought that I simply let go.

"Ocham's Razor essentially states that all things being equal, the simplest explanation is usually correct."
I ran across this in a post entitled: (Freedom of Flight)

snip: "I was sitting on the bus, after our last session, mulling over what was said (as I always do) and some things began to click."

snip: "One could easily jump to a conclusion that all of these factors compiled have caused my repeated history of self-sabotage and the lack of drive I confront in so many areas in my life."

snip: "It is really quite simple and clear. I am affording myself the ability and opportunity to escape unscathed. The problem here is that I am very convincing. I can usually convince most people to believe whatever I want them to believe. The most common victim of this skill is myself."

It brings to mind one of my favorite Feynman quotes: "The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." ~ Richard Feynman

*Ocham's Razor? Occam's Razor? Ockham's Razor?

The past is the past is the past...

"The most obvious thing about which you can do nothing now is your past behavior. Everything that you ever did is simply over, and while you can almost always learn from it, and sometimes change effects that are continuing into the present, you cannot undo what you have done. Therefore, any time you find yourself quarrelling about how you should or shouldn't have done something, instead of discussing how you can grow from your past errors or what can be done now, you are a victim in a no escape pitfall." (Dr. Wayne Dyer. 1978. Pulling Your Own Strings. Chpt 3)

Birthday countdown

Victoria's Secret sent me a birthday card and a ten dollar off card to use. Not bad. Of course, they don't have anything that costs ten dollars so it's an incentive to get me to spend money.

I haven't seen my annual AARP invite. I suspect that will be coming shortly.

I did see the SSA statement.. dismal.

But at least my birthday is on a Sunday and someone else will take care of the laundry, so I can go out and play somewhere.. Maybe I will start early, beat the crowds at the mall (I tend to dislike huge malls; I wish for little shops on the street, where people recognize regular customers and parking isn't an exercise in patience) and then go into Angeles Forest.. daypack with a little food and water, a sketchbook, or maybe with a camera I have been itching to purchase and some new boots.

4 days and a wakeup.

Congratulations to SpaceShipOne

Well gosh, I missed this. I could have gotten myself to Mojave for this one. I guess I better watch the news announcements more closely so I can make plans for the next one. It will be interesting to see what the problems with the roll at the apex were about. flight transcript There is a video file at too.

Scaled Composites Home of SpaceShipOne

X Prize Information on Scheduled Flights and Teams

Diversions: Steven Wright

I needed a few diversions and wandering around found some Steven Wright jokes and one liners. I have yet to fail to be amused by at least a few lines of his anytime I have seen him perform. I have also never yet failed to groan at more than quite a few of them.

"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before."

"I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering."

"If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses."

"Four years ago... No, it was yesterday."
Today I... No, that wasn't me.
Sometimes I... No, I don't."

"I have a decaffeinated coffee table. You'd never know it to look at it."

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'

"I didn't know it then, but looking back, in hindsight, I realize that when I was younger I could see into the future. Now I'm getting all my premonitions as flashbacks!"

"Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second."

"I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies." So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars"..."

"Is it weird in here, or is it just me?"

Steven Wright Jokes (MIT- AI lab)
Steven Wright Jokes (Michael Toy)
Steven Wright (UM edu)

note to self: posted with w.bloggar
further note: time out wasn't a time out, all attempts were posted.

Monday, September 27, 2004


"Everything will change. The only question, is it growing or decaying?" ~Anonymous

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance." ~Alan Watts


The landscape soon will not even reflect that the two pieces of ground were once close; it will only be a memory scattered in the broken rocks.


I am really, really liking the Mozilla Firefox browser. I am still customizing toolbars, and tweaking various settings and I do want to read a bit more about any potential security issues. I miss the Blogger "blog this" button, and wonder if Blogger/Google will develop a toolbar that will work with Firefox, but even without it, I am truly impressed. Pages load much faster; I like the option of tabs or new windows- it suits the way I wander the web with multiple things open from multiple sites; it seems to run in a more streamlined fashion but that could be an illusion. I have only been using it for a couple of days.

I had been reading everyone's glowing reviews so I downloaded Firefox after the third time a bunch of junk downloaded [from different suspect sites] and installed itself as new toolbars in MSIE, without asking. MSIE allowed that, yet I was having trouble viewing sites that I trusted and did want to see (and some that were in my trusted zone) without getting a darn security warning every twenty seconds.

added 05/05/05: If you are looking for more current information on Firefox, you will find a  summary and link of every post I have made to date about the various versions of Firefox, any installation problems and my solutions; and within some of those posts are links to specific Firefox support forum threads. Firefox post list

Sunday, September 26, 2004

Unconscious Mutterings

Week 86

I say ... and you think ... ?
  1. Diminishing:: growing less; getting smaller
  2. Fed up:: with George Bush; disgusted beyond endurance
  3. 3:00 AM:: an hour I see more often than I would like; song
  4. Interfere:: an obstacle that usually requires that one stop and regroup before starting again; Some moments I seem to attract or allow more interference than others.
  5. Often:: more frequently than sometimes; You are on my mind more than often.
  6. Hay:: ride; wagon, bales of hay, horses or a tractor; not been on one of those since I was very young.
  7. Prediction:: have none; future notes are future notes
  8. Homophobia:: unwarranted fear expressed as hate
  9. Booty call:: something I don't hear used by anyone I know
  10. Enunciate:: speak very clearly and distinctly; something I am sometimes guilty of not doing

Want to play? Go to Unconscious Mutterings

Saturday, September 25, 2004

SqueezeMe Biofeedback Toy

"Squeeze Me is a squishy toy that detects certain bio-readings and responds to change with visual feedback using light patterns. An increase in one of the child's readings will cause a change in the color and number of lights displayed. Increasing or decreasing readings will cause varying light intensities and possibly animated light sequences."
Found Via:Popgadget: Personal Tech for Women: SqueezeMe Biofeedback Toy

I want one.

Colored lenses

Communication is seldom without some emotional context and subtext; maybe never. The nature of emotion and perception though, is that we tend to fill in our own, not necessarily that of the other person communicating. We understand a thing from our own lenses with whatever subconscious or conscious baggage we are carrying with us in that moment, and should never make the mistake of ignoring that.

Sometimes I forget.

It surprises me...

It surprises me that it sometimes takes so much effort to reframe circumstances and events in my conscious thoughts.

It still surprises me that extra colors go missing and the world grows dim and gray within certain frames of mind.

And it surprises me further still, to find that the balance point between excessive attachment and emotionless detachment - moves.

Friday, September 24, 2004

Last thoughts of the night

...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. ~Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, (Sherlock Holmes)

The greatest enemy of any one of our truths may be the rest of our truths. ~William James

There is no truth. There is only perception. ~Gustave Flaubert

Truth only reveals itself when one gives up all preconceived ideas. ~ Shoseki

Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. ~Jane Wagner, (and Lily Tomlin)

Quote of the Day
Quote Garden

Thursday, September 23, 2004

And they wonder why older folks get cranky

"Sitting on Crabby Old Lady's desk is a broken plastic bottle of aspirin. After ten minutes of bruising her thumb trying to push off the adult-proof lid, she resorted to ..."
Time Goes By - What it's really like to get older

Please, Please go read the rest. This well written rant is good for lots of chuckles and smiles.

Many ways of seeing.

I was reading a post at Nomen est Numen and towards the end she tells a little story about her eyesight, her need for glasses and how it felt to take them off to walk home.

"Walking home from the gym this morning, I decided to give my eyes a break, and pocketed my glasses for the trip home. I was prepared to be incapacitated. I know how poor my sight is.

Instead of being paralyzed, though, I was plunged into a beautiful world. I could make out only those things that were closest to me; anything further than a few short feet was drowned in a brilliant puddle of color. "

At the end she notes: "I want to say I saw everything with new eyes, but this would be trite and untrue. I saw everything with my eyes, and it was good,

I couldn't live like this, certainly. It's only because the path was familiar that I was able to navigate so easily. Still, though, the perspective this experiment gave me was wonderful. I took off my glasses, and was in the world again.

Perhaps there is a moral after all. Perhaps clarity is not always obvious."

I was struck for several reasons, but it reminded me of an "experiment" my grandmother mentioned (in the late 19sixties) when she got her first pair of bifocals. She said she would sometimes walk home from the bus stop after work, deliberately looking through the obvious line between the two prescriptions. At first, it made her dizzy, but she repeated the "experiment" over and over. She said it gave her a different perspective, blended some things together, helped her notice different colors and aspects about the world and reminded her about how many different ways there were of seeing, feeling and thinking about things.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004


This has been a favorite of mine for about twenty years or so, yet I still forget about it from time to time. Though I have the red hat, I don't have the purple outfit.. but occasionally I practice anyway.

Warning - poem by Jenny Joseph

Three from Dyer

"Everything you need you already have. You are complete right now, you are a whole, total person, not an apprentice person on the way to someplace else."

"All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy."

"Present-moment living, getting in touch with your now, is at the heart of effective living. When you think about it, there really is no other moment you can live. Now is all there is, and the future is just another present moment to live when it arrives."

Wayne Dyer

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Gmail Swap

I stumbled on a place that I think I might use to offer up my remaining Gmail invites GMail swap - A cute little idea for matching up folks who have invites with folks who want them. A few wanting invites are offering things like the secret of life and cute cat photos. I saw one I can't find now offering air. But there are some other swaps offered too, like a Swiss tour guide or Orkut invites.

Thanks for the find go to Anne at California Bloggin' v3.0.

Morning with Santa Ana's

The wind is blowing, the sun is shining, the breeze coming in the deck door is hot/cool/mixed- exactly how I like it, a perfect sort of mild Southern California morning though it may get too hot for my tastes later. The only sounds are the wind in the tree tops, the occasional clink of the blinds and my wind chimes.... oh yeah, and a few minutes ago, the annoying beep of a delivery van backing up (Does that really prevent accidents or is it just designed to be highly irritating?).

However, I am having one of those mornings where sitting down at the computer, I am first shivery cold, then peel it all off hot, then cold, then hot, with no in-between. It is getting annoying to put my sweatshirt on then take it off again three minutes later. I tried pushing up the sleeves, but noooo- that doesn't work.

It is a constant interuption and I am not getting much done. And some folks wonder why women of my age get cranky.

Cowboy Wisdom

I thought this was great:
Thoughts from the Middle of Nowhere: Cowboy Wisdom

Picking just a few that I like best to quote here is really difficult- because I like them all, but here is a sampling:
--Life ain't about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
--Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
--Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin you none.
--If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin.
--Never miss a good chance to shut up.
--There are more horses asses than horses.
--There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
--There are three kinds of men:
The one that learns by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

Ramblings after 2AM

It is late and I am not asleep- again. There are too many things swirling around my head that I could do without thinking about at this moment. But there they are. And here I am. It is more of an effort to shut it all off tonight- as it has been for many recent nights.

The wind is blowing, rattling the blinds and tinkling the wind chimes. I can hear it blowing in the trees outside, increasing and then decreasing in strength. The exterior and roof of the house occasionally makes creaking noises. It had turned a chilly, perfect temperature, but the wind seems to have warmed it up a tiny bit. Although I never know for sure what the temperature of anything actually is any longer. The windows are open, as I almost never shut them. I feel too confined and imprisoned when I do. The cool breeze seeping in feels good on my skin, but it won't help me sleep tonight.

It has felt like true autumn for the past few days. But it will warm up at least once or twice more before autumn really sets in. The Santa Ana's will blow in from the desert. And I will find a reason to smile in the wind of daylight.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Testing Qumana

Testing Qumana: first post; no real content, just testing

Wirearchy: It's Official

Later edit through Blogger. I had a title before publishing from Qumana, but it didn't publish it in the title bar. It does show in the html, but now Blogger says the tag is "not allowed". I guess I might check how that is supposed to be configured in Blogger. I am really used to using right click for a variety of adjustments which isn't possible. Editing the html is a little difficult, but I haven't tested everything yet. I didn't check the html before posting and should have. The spacing is a little hinky, but that is likely my fault. It shows up fine in the Qumana WYSIWYG editor, but not on the blog. I see the various div and & nbsp so I am now eliminating a couple of those. I don't want the font changing each time, so I need to figure out that aspect of things. What really interested me and made me finally decide to download and try this is the whole concept of the drop pad, so sometime later that will be the real test. I really like that idea and it is still useful even if I don't like the way it posts from the application.

Classes start Thursday and I need to work again starting next week, so I don't know how much time I will have to play. Of course, I always manage to find a little time to play and blog. ;-)

We choose our truths

I act in a particular way headed towards certain known and unknown goals. I react in a certain way based on my conscious control at the moment, my past, my future goals and things that I value along with a thousand other influences, like weather, hormones, neurochemicals, other people who matter and don't. I forgive myself for the moments when the reactions are from more subconscious events and influences and I forgive myself for those things I do which do not measure up to my ideals. I forgive myself for self-decided failures along the way.

I am human and I am a thinking, feeling being. I am exactly as I am this moment. I will be exactly as I am in the next moment. Those two moments and who I am may not be exactly the same. I learn, I change, I adapt, I flex and grow.

I have chosen certain values, certain goals, certain things that matter to me. I could change those. I could decide they no longer fit who I have become or who I want to become.

Who I am changes in slight ways with every thought, every mental stretch, every examination of philosophies and most importantly, it changes with influences from others and events in any moment. I am not saying that I am a completely different person based on the influences of events and others, but rather that I am affected by my interactions. All interactions with the world influence my thought, my actions, even many if not most of my goals. I have core beliefs that are open to renegotiation.

I believe what I think I believe; I see what I think I see; I hear what I think I hear. I am what I think and that is a choice. Life, purpose, meaning, interpretation, results- are all up to me.

It is an awesome responsibility- all that choice, creating my own truths and choosing my own direction or standing in indecision seemingly choosing none- but it isn't cause to beat myself up if I don't get it "just right" in any moment.

What's with blogger time settings?

I checked the blogger settings and I have -8GMT listed, but for some reason my posts are showing a later time stamp that is an hour plus a few odd minutes off. I shouldn't have to manually correct for each post, should I?

Monday Question 31

When was the last time you felt like skipping instead of walking?

I guess my point here, is about letting joy of the moment permeate completely into your soul.

I stopped these the last of August, as I wanted to rethink the whole thing. But a complete opposite to the feeling of the moment question popped into my head over the weekend. I don't know if I will write any more Monday Questions. We will see (seems like I have said that a lot lately- could be just my frame of reference).

Sunday, September 19, 2004

More wisdom

I liked this:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!"
The author is unknown but thanks for the quote go to: McGee's Musings

Another quote worth saving

“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn

Yeah, what she said.
I am feeling a strong urge to say or do several outrageous things- blame mood and well.. mood.

For more quotes go see this post at: Time Goes By - What it's really like to get older. But there are several very good things to read at the site, so be sure to check all the posts.

Wise advice

California Bloggin' v3.0 :: Excited Utterances: "Several years ago my Eric Clapton greatest hits CD vanished. Disappeared. Don't have any clue what happened to it. So today I finally gave up on ever finding it again and bought a new one. (It'll probably turn up tomorrow.) On the way home I rolled down the windows and blasted 'Layla' and it felt good. However, as I was coming out of the parking lot some kid asked if I wanted my car washed. Hey kid: If a nearing-middle-age woman is playing 'Layla' on her car stereo so loud that the people inside the store can probably hear it, do not -- do not -- disturb her. She's probably having a religious experience of some kind."

:-) nice to know that I am not the only woman in a particular age group who occasionally turns the car stereo way, way, way up.


A few mentions from wandering my blogroll:

I posted about a new blog find a few days ago- Watermark- Friday's post about Cats and Politics can be found there (also posted about on Corner).

I added a couple of other new finds or new blogs to the blogrolling links and also to Bloglines and forgot to mention them: Exploring Counseling which may prove to be an interesting read and Wish jar journal which I explored long enough to want to read a little more and also to find out that she is very recently married (new husband has a blog too but I forgot to note it).

A few interesting posts from some favorites that have been in my list a while: Chris at Parking Lot posted about an interesting group photography project: Impossible Sky.

I Speak of Dreams notes that certain kinds of bookmarks are illegal weapons!

Space Tramp is playing with a color wheel that shows tetrads.

Minding the Planet notes a story I read in the various news sites I frequent about Kryptonite U-Locks for bikes being easy to pick. The story I read said they were probably going to be recalled as that was cheaper than making good on their guarantee of replacing stolen bikes.

Conscious Living Poetry has some Chicago poems, but I liked Saturday's happiness haiku even better.

There are more, but until I figure out how to do the expandable post bit (I did read about that in blogger news), I will leave this as is for now. Maybe there will be more later when I wake up. I still have all the blogs in Bloglines that aren't in the sidebar to wander through if there is time.

Unconscious Mutterings Week 85

I say ... and you think ... ?

  1. Pointless:: having no purpose; no meaning
  2. Sadistic:: taking pleasure in the pain of another
  3. Bunny:: cute little creatures. Growing up and as a young married adult, the bunnies used to come eat and then play in the yards in the mornings (I have seen them play what looks like tag, chasing each other, then suddenly for no discernible reason, changing who was "it"). One of my cousins had a pet bunny- cute plump fluffy creature who was litter box trained and wandered all over the house like a cat or dog. I always thought that "Bunny" was a wonderful pet.
  4. Betrayal:: failure in a time of need; lies and sometimes silence instead of truth; deceived, abandoned
  5. Oliver:: Twist; Stone; North
  6. Star Wars:: the movies - which I have enjoyed; the questionable weapons program which has value as a vision but doesn't seem to have a good success rate for the money
  7. Let it ride:: sounds like gambling
  8. Ray of light:: hope in a dismal place; hard to find unless one opens one's mind to see
  9. Tight:: as my son uses it= cool, all good. There was a time when I was growing up that tight and tipsy were synonymous.
  10. Gadget:: useful tool to do something that folks either couldn't do before or used to do by hand; Inspector Gadget and Penny (used to watch that with my son- kept thinking of Get Smart, but Penny wasn't exactly Agent 99)

Want to play? Go to Unconscious Mutterings.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

A little laughter is a good thing

If you've been here or lived with someone who has, you will laugh at some or most of these; if you haven't you likely won't: Minnie Pauz - Minnie moments

Friday, September 17, 2004

Los Angeles Insight- Baby You Can Drive My Car

Friday night questions from LABlogs:
Los Angeles Insight- Baby You Can Drive My Car

1. How many hours a week are you stuck in your car? In a normal week, 6-9 hours, which isn't too bad considering the amount of people around and the miles and directions I travel. I don't usually drive during the peaks of rush hours if I can avoid it and I do use a combination of freeways and surface street shortcuts for many places. If I am going to be traveling at 25-35 mph, then I might as well be on surface streets anyway. I sure wish the public transportation system was more efficient and easier to access.
2. What music is in your car, right now? A classical station is #1 preset on radio (along with #3 rock, #2 rock classic and #4 country) and classical is my first choice for keeping calm and tranquil when others are losing their heads and tempers, but rock and classical tunes in mp3 format are with me and ready to pop into the car stereo when I get bored.
3. What do you do while stuck in traffic? Eat? Sing? Primal scream? Think peaceful thoughts and try not to look at the clock; also sing, sometimes snack, compose haiku, look at other drivers, read vanity license plates, bumper stickers and plate holders, daydream, and sometimes write notes for blog posts.
4. If you could give citations to other drivers for bad behavior, who/what would you ticket? I would ticket the ones that slow down to look at every car sitting on the side of the road (oh and those who enter a freeway going twenty miles an hour; and those who cut in front of me and then slow way down).
5. What's your favorite place/freeway to drive in LA? The Foothill (210) Freeway, but there are many nice places to just drive- The Coast Highway or Angeles Forest Highway anyone?
6. What's your least favorite? The Santa Ana/Golden State (5) at rush hour (the Riverside (91) and Pomona (60) aren't too great during rush hour either); actually most of the freeways at rush hour aren't favorite places to be.
7. What's the craziest thing you've ever seen another driver do? Too too many to list, but some include putting on eye makeup, trying to get something in the back seat while looking back there, and so on.
8. What's the craziest thing you've ever seen left on the side of the road? Gosh, I don't know; I have seen a lot of different strange things, including full sets of clothing. Fortunately I am often not going slow enough to see too many things on the side of the road. I do always wonder though, how those single shoes get there when there haven't been any accidents in those locations. Don't people miss a single shoe?

Held in Check

I have been
In some moments for days, weeks,
Feeling a tightness in my chest
Ache rising.
Throat constricted.
Emotions stopped there.
Stuck or held in check, the result is the same.
My hand rises to hold my heart in.
Waiting for whatever comes next.
Listening to silence
It feels like a crash and burn.
But I keep trying not to interpret
Through ears muffled with events of my past.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Anonymous and not so anonymous quotes

"You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from passing over your head, but you can prevent their making a nest in your hair." (anon)

"The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you love them." (anon)

"The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy." (Jim Rohn)

"You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of." (Jim Rohn)

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

The Gender Genie

I ran across this last year, posted it on Corner and forgot about it until a link to that post came up in the stats. At the time, I ran several entries from Tangents and it decided I was "male". The site notes they believe they have an 80% accuracy rate. Running it again today (using several entries at once), the results are similar. Just for kicks I ran a few posts from blogs I frequent where I know the gender of the writer. It was accurate for them.

This is based on some published research about gender and writing styles with some speculation about a variety of causes and results of the differences. I first ran across those studies referenced at either Butterflies and Wheels or Arts and Letters Daily. If later I turn up the research I downloaded, I will post the journal references.

Check it out yourself at: The Gender Genie

My results:

Words: 621 (NOTE: The genie works best on texts of more than 500 words.)
Female Score: 860
Male Score: 1314

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!"

Monday, September 13, 2004

LA County Fair Television Ads

If you haven't seen any of the Los Angeles County Fair ads on television, you ought to check them out. Look on the right side of the page just under the links for the Live Fair Cams. The creative person(s) behind the campaign did a good job. I like the kids in the classroom best, but they are both amusing. 2004 L.A. County Fair: General Information -

Dulled Mind

I haven't written anything resembling decent in months. I did always intend to use this blog for the more personal items, daily things, wanderings and where they might take me in thought. But I was writing semi decent, even sometimes thoughtful things on occasion.

There is something about my activities and emotional state in the last several months and summer in general in Los Angeles, that has dulled my mind. My classes were not stimulating, though they were interesting and challenging for the most part- or two of them were anyway.

I read the blogs of others when I have the energy to think, nod my head in agreement, understanding or shake my head in amazement, but my own tangents from their thoughts don't come in any coherent form. I don't seem to be able to add much to the discussion or even the search for me. I haven't even managed to attempt a creative project of any sort for months and months.

Maybe if late Autumn with the temperatures in the fifties to low seventies ever gets here, I will find more mental energy. Fall is always a better time for me than late summer. Then again maybe what I need is an entire change of mental focus, varied locations and less time alone... Or more likely-- maybe all of the above...

lone coyote

Dark night
Lone coyote calls
No one answers

Sunday, September 12, 2004

More Poetry

For some reason I keep running into things Montana today ( Hi Greyowl). I think that's the location of this poet too. There are lots of wonderful things here, but this one caught my eye: Watermark: Snapshot 08 September 02004.

As a transplanted Midwesterner, I sometimes miss Fall and Winter.

GMail invitations

I have several Gmail invitations left to give away, so if you would like one, let me know a little about who you are, why you want one, and your blog location if you have one (email me or leave in comments).

If there are more requests than invites available, I will decide on some purely random and subjective basis that I haven't thought about yet.

Anything cute you say in an email could wind up here, so if you really don't want me to use anything you say, let me know that too.

Unconscious Mutterings

Week 84

I say ... and you think ... ?
  1. Self-esteem:: self respect, self confidence, self assurance; All things I have at some moments and not at others. Some events present more of a difficulty than others..
  2. Migraine:: weird vision, hyper noise sensitivity, unrelenting, pounding, pulse following, one sided, excruciating head pain accompanied by nausea, moaning and followed by what nausea is followed by if i don't take something and go lie down in a quiet dark room soon enough..
  3. Phoebe:: Halliwell ;-)
  4. Nervous:: occasionally
  5. Puntual:: puntual???? punctual- something I try to be.. puntual- something about the act of punting???
  6. Liver damage:: sometimes a sign of far too much partying
  7. Legal disclaimer:: written statement used by anyyone who is afraid of being sued telling what they won't be responsible for...
  8. Reverend:: Protestant minister
  9. Supple:: flexible, pliant, easily moving
  10. Binder:: temporary contract; cover holding papers together

Want to play? Go to Unconscious Mutterings.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Conscious-Living Poetry

I am going to quote two here, but there were many more I found interesting and thoughtful at Conscious-Living Poetry .

On second thought...

Whatever it is in life that troubles you,
have faith in yourself. Assume responsibility
for yourself, and the rest of life has a way of
taking care of itself.

Haiku Moment
By Don

Paths cross,
lives change,
we grow

Friday, September 10, 2004

Maybe I see why...

When I linked the paper airplane instructions, in the previous post, and noted that it was listed in a "Windows Secrets" newsletter, I actually was a bit puzzled about why it was included. All sorts of things turn up in that newsletter (which by the way, is often critical of Microsoft), but they are always related to Windows and/or Microsoft.

I was trying to create the airplane and while I think I know where they are going, the instructions seem very difficult to follow. Did anyone else try it? Did anyone else have any difficulty following the instructions?

Later update: I did get the thing constructed, but not before the husband of the house got involved, tried to fold one of his own, and then gave up in frustration. The thing flies in a short straight line (after which it drops like a stone), but I am not that impressed. I can't say if the problems were due to me and my interpretation of the instructions or the composition of the instructions and design.

I do see some interesting, possibly connected themes though.

Paper Airplane

I like (making, testing and occasionally creating) paper airplanes- especially ones that are slightly different.

I haven't tested it yet, but this link turned up in a Windows XP Secrets newsletter:

The Flapper

It might be the only one the author knows that flaps its wings, but it isn't the only one I know. There is one I used to fold and cut for my son, that is shaped and flies a little like a small songbird. I will have to see if I can actually write instructions for it and post it. I am not at all sure I can do that- that is, I am not sure I can write/draw the "how to's"..

If anyone has any links to the instructions for paper airplanes they particularly like (or origami, kirigami etc- other things I dabble at occasionally), I would be interested in seeing them. Post in comments or send me an email.

Thursday, September 09, 2004


Weather in So. Cal.

Only a tease:
thirty-six hours humid,
three minutes of rain

(Sunshine returns tomorrow)

Monday, September 06, 2004

President Clinton

Get updates on his condition or send a get well message from the site: Clinton Presidential Center

By the way, this site has completely expanded since it first went online. I wrote them a couple of years ago because I had heard a speech of his and wanted a transcript to talk about with my poli sci tutoring clients. At that time the site wasn't much more than an events calendar and contact information. Now they are putting all sorts of information at everyone's fingertips.

About that quake prediction ... never mind

About that quake prediction ... never mind: "UCLA Professor Vladimir Keilis-Borok, who made his prediction of a major quake in January, said in a prepared statement released Friday, 'This prediction was a false alarm; no such earthquake occurred.'"

Being right four times recently made his prediction worth paying attention to- and a number of officials including Senator Boxer thought so too.. but this time apparently they got the data wrong.

Sunday, September 05, 2004

Unconscious Mutterings

Week 83
I say ... and you think ... ?
  1. Reporter:: standing out in the hurricane like a silly fool, inviting the wind to throw something at him/her, which she will oblige...
  2. Mythology:: enduring stories and archetypes, some very deep in our collective psyche
  3. Wimbledon:: The things that come to mind are tennis and England, of course..
  4. Civilization:: many advantages, many disadvantages to the western sort we have set up; calling something civilized, even collective acceptance of something as civilized, doesn't make it so...
  5. Punctuation:: mine is atrocious
  6. Party Games:: dislike many
  7. Flawless:: airbrushed; illusionary, man made or thought; judgment about something; nature doesn't create flawless- she creates perfect when seen as part of a whole, imperfection as perfection, compensatory and complementing features- strengths to balance weaknesses and so on.
  8. Unprecedented:: not noticed before
  9. Curry:: interesting spice; have to look up where the phrase "curry favor" came from.. and one can "curry" a horse too - right??
  10. Tropical:: warm, breezy; conjures up less stress, peaceful, unhurried setting
Want to play? Go to Unconscious Mutterings.

Friday, September 03, 2004

When you want a break; new game

This one is a puzzle game; not as addictive as Insaniquarium: PopCap Games - Alchemy

I was thinking about this flash game playing addiction of mine. I think when I am overloaded and/or when I want to stop thinking about something that is troubling to me or not do chores, I look for almost anything else to be busy with. Would that be an avoidance tendency? ;-)

Thursday, September 02, 2004

It is a big deal to me

Silly me.

For a little while tonight, my feelings were hurt. I knew that things were likely to play out this way, yet I still hoped that it would be different. I told family and close friends how big a deal tonight was to me, how important it was reaching this particular milestone. I told them, rather than expect them to read my mind. I didn't make a huge fuss about it, but they were all told that tonight I would finish all requirements for this degree and that it was important to me. I made another mistake in thinking. I thought they would hear.

When I got home, the husband of the house said, "You are home really late tonight", to which I replied that we had to give our presentations and sit through everyone else's. His reply was "How did you do?". When I told him the group (I hate group projects!) got an 88/100 there was no response. And those were the total extent of his comments to me for the entire day and evening (really, those are the only words he said to me in 24 hours).

When people reach milestones or complete something important, especially if they tell me ahead of time, I try to respond in a way that acknowledges that I know it was important to them, and lets them know I am happy with and for them. Congratulate success. Help someone else feel good about their efforts.

But I didn't plan anything for myself and I should have. I knew that class would run late tonight. Still, I hoped that people at home would have a card or perhaps a flower or even just tell me congratulations. I thought that perhaps I might get a phone call from my sister or even emails from my extended family and friends. But it didn't happen. Strangers and passing acquaintances offered congratulations, but not my family and close friends. And for a little while, I was hurt.

However, I didn't do this for them and I didn't do it for any accolades. I have worked for the past four years to reach this first goal, for me. I DID IT! I am finished with this phase of things. I did it despite the lack of encouragement from almost all directions; I did it despite the financial difficulties; I did it despite my age and frequent lack of energy; and I am moving right into new goals for the next two years.

YEA ME! Tomorrow I will figure out something to do that marks the accomplishment.

Quotes for the occasion reflecting the progression through 2000-2004:

"Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work." ~H. L. Hunt

"If you really want to do something, you'll find a way; if you don't, you'll find an excuse." ~Unknown

"Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that." ~Norman Vincent Peale

"Hell begins on the day when God grants us a clear vision of all that we might have achieved, of all the gifts which we might have wasted, of all that we might have done which we did not do." ~Gian-Carlo Menotti

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone." ~Bill Cosby

This one is one of my favorites:
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Success is not measured by what you accomplish but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds." ~Orison Swett Marden

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

How very strange and...

When I checked this page in my browser, May came up instead of August and no archives were listed beyond May 2004. I reloaded the page and got the same result. Using what should have been the August archive address, gave me those posts, but clicking the link to current posts sent me right back to May! Checking around, I see that a few other people on Blogspot might also be having the same trouble.. or else it is something in the way my browser is loading pages! I republished the entire blog and it seems to be ok now.

As a little side note, my finals went ok. I have one presentation to go, some paperwork to turn in to my advisor, and I will be finished... with the quarter and with this degree!!!!!!!!
... Then on to a well deserved three weeks off, where I can attempt to clean and put some order back in my surroundings, before life gets even more hectic with a job and classes for the next degree.

Oh, and I definitely intend to spend a little time doing some things that are just for me.