Wednesday, June 30, 2004


Mailing in a post to see if it works. I honestly can't think of when I will use this, but i like having my options open.

later edit: I "mailed" the post from the cell phone.

Wednesday Whatevers

Wednesday Whatevers for June 30, 2004

1. Does time pass by too quickly? :: Absolutely, and the older I get the quicker it passes. It seemed as if at the points where I truly wanted time to slow down- to be able to sit with my child in the rocking chair a little longer, or later to be able to learn who I had become and what I wanted before I could no longer be useful- that time moved even faster. How did I get here, a half a century plus old, so quickly? And is there time to find and experience the other things that mean something to me before this lifetime ends?
2. Can money buy happiness? :: No, but having shelter, food and clothing and being able to pay the bills while one engages in the things that matter seems fairly important. Plus having a few toys is pretty nice. ;-)
3. Is freedom of speech a privilege or a right? :: It is a right in which governments sometimes think they can interfere. Humankind should be free to say what is on their mind. Darkness (either individual or collective) reigns, tyranny triumphs and knowledge does not advance if no one is free to speak and share their thoughts.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Vanishing thoughts

I was composing a blog post (or a couple) in my head on the way home from class. I did not have my tape recorder out, nor did I have a notebook open as I usually do to scribble half notes that will remind me of the key points of something I am thinking about. The topic was about jumping in to create change in one's life- about closing ones eyes, taking a giant leap and believing without much evidence that things will work out if you want them to. It was about returning to college after thirty years and arriving at this point; about taking a giant step in one direction without a well planned goal-only a vague one, and then finding purpose and a path that had fewer brambles than first appeared. I thought about having only partial trust in self and battered self-esteem, but finding and bolstering both of those along the way and about learning to trust all the messages that come from the heart and soul and tangents of all of those things... and then I arrived home.

The subject matter was still in my head; the words and thoughts were still tumbling around as I unlocked the door. Walking into the hallway, I was greeted with water flowing backwards out of a plumbing fixture downstairs from the shower draining upstairs.

All logical progression of previous thoughts stopped. All posts that might have been written - vanished. The details of daily life have a way of claiming immediate attention. The water is all cleaned up, but the thoughts are now only bare subjects with a few bones and no meat. Is there a lesson there somewhere or maybe several?

Monday, June 28, 2004

Monday Question #22

#22. What do you notice first about a new situation or location? Why and how does it make you feel?

Sunday, June 27, 2004

Unconscious Mutterings Week 73

June 26, 2004 Week 73
I say ... and you think ... ?
  1. Lounge:: chair; relax; by the pool
  2. Photograph:: images of a loved one on my computer is the first thing that comes to mind; family photo albums; landscapes on my computer; images on blogs
  3. Catacomb:: dark underground passageways
  4. Crucifix:: religious symbol
  5. Fired drill:: hmmm... interesting.. fired drill??? drill bit that has been through fire? fire tempered? or practice session about being fired?
  6. Tube:: inner tube for a tire; test tube; sox
  7. Dropped:: let go; ended; crashing to the floor
  8. LTD:: large Ford auto; limited
  9. Panther:: big black cat; similar to cougar and mountain lions; Pink Panther
  10. Formica:: counter and tabletop surfaces (do they still use formica- is that a trade or brand name?)

Want to play? Go to Unconscious Mutterings

Thursday, June 24, 2004

As long as I am still up...

As long as I am still up (which wasn't a wise choice), I might as well post a couple of quotations that caught my eye or my mood this morning.. or night.. or??? I get confused when I haven't slept yet and it is still dark out..

"The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible." ~ Jean Kerr

"If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done." ~ Ludwig Wittgenstein

both quotes from Quote of the Day for June 24, 2004

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

And the new quarter begins..

A part of my schedule for this quarter is now set. I was not sure if I would make it through the hoops I needed to jump to take the Introduction to American Sign Language. There were obstacles, paperwork and standing in multiple lines required for each of the three steps, but the instructor agreed to allow me to audit the class and give me a pass/fail "grade" to take to my advisor. My advisor will post a graded credit (4 units; another "A" if I pass) to a directed study offered by our department for the work. The computer enrollment system finally let me add the directed study; so another elective (one I truly wanted to take) is settled.

The first ASL class was very interesting. The instructor is very engaging, energetic, and enthusiastic. He spoke entirely in sign for the duration of the class and a translator was on hand to interpret. The translator will not be back until about midterm. We were told that the class would be taught entirely in sign- no spoken language allowed. He made a big deal out of future cell phone confiscation if they rang, as well as removing anyone from class on future days if they spoke out-loud. If we cannot sign something we want to say, then we will have to write it out if we wish to communicate- with other students and with the instructor. The total immersion method does work, but raising my hand in order to signal I want to communicate along with not speaking even in conjunction with signing is likely to give me trouble.

There will be a great deal of work required, and I sank a little at hearing all the details, because this will be a very busy quarter for everything else too! Normally, I plan to have one or two challenging classes and one or two easier ones. However, I have a weakness for classes taught by someone who loves what they are doing- it usually makes it easier to learn. Both Monday and today's classes are being taught by those kind of instructors. Presenting challenging material in a positive, active, engaging and enthusiastic manner is very hard to resist.

When the class was almost over, he asked if we thought he could hear or thought he was deaf. Over thirty students said he could hear, and the other ten or so including me, said he was deaf. I have known people who were deaf and spent a tiny amount of time on the fringe of a group of friends in the Deaf community while dating a young man over thirty years ago. I remember certain impressions from then-- mannerisms, written syntax, and a way of looking at people and things that I cannot describe adequately- but one knows the meaning of everything is being evaluated entirely visually. Watching this professor speak for almost two hours triggered those thirty year ago impressions- besides which he looked at the translator when someone asked him a question. He is deaf. I expect this is going to be fun.

Monday, June 21, 2004


I made a change in something and I am not sure how it will show up without a new post. I have to leave for class, so whatever is wrong will continue to be. That's what I get for trying to cram too much in before leaving for campus!!!

Monday Question # 21

#21. What qualities do you value the most- in yourself, in others? Are they the same?

Sunday, June 20, 2004

More on SpaceShipOne

I hadn't gotten around to looking beyond the actual website for the craft (posted on Saturday)- there are several articles at SpaceShipOne: Soaring Toward Tomorrow.

In case you hadn't guessed, I will be watching if at all possible. I don't think I will drive out to Mojave as it is the first day of the new quarter and I have a class in the afternoon (missing a first day often gets one "disenrolled"), but I sure would have liked to... maybe next time. CNN is supposed to be covering the launch live.

Unconscious Mutterings Week 72

Week 72
I say ... and you think ... ?
  1. Abundance:: sunshine, more often than not- optimism
  2. Casino:: The California Nations Indian Gaming Association; Las Vegas, other places...
  3. Shell:: abalone, conch, sand dollar, muscle, clam...
  4. Overpriced:: cars, homes, gasoline, boots, textbooks and the list goes on...
  5. Cancellation:: appointments, some plans
  6. Eternal:: flame
  7. Lyrics:: don't know which one to pick..
  8. Faith:: intertwined with trust
  9. Because:: it doesn't matter
  10. Wimp:: often said as a joke or a dare

Want to play? Go to Unconscious Mutterings

Happy Father's Day!

Saturday, June 19, 2004

Two on language and one on living...

The Chronicle: "American Idioms Have Gone Missing" on the use of "Briticisms" in American speech.

Telegraph | Arts | "How the bee got his knees" on a few myths of the origin of words and phrases.

"A worthy aspiration for most humans: To be like your own dog" on traits we all ought to consider.

All found via Arts and Letters Daily


SpaceShipOne will launch on Monday- this time into suborbital space. The whole idea of privately funded spaceflight and research is very intriguing to me as is the design of this particular craft. Re-entry will be under the pilot's control. CNN is apparently planning to cover the event live.

I wonder if I will live long enough to see an affordable- average middle class Jane can ride- commercial trip into space? Better yet, do you think they will need Rehabilitation Counselors on a future moon station and if that will be completed before I am too old? Does space speed up or slow down the aging process? Maybe I better think about getting that Psy.D.

Dr. "Stormwind", psychologist for moon inhabitants? I like the thought of that. ;-)

Scaled Composites - Tier One / SpaceShipOne Home Page
Test Logs
General Information

Friday, June 18, 2004

Daily Wisdom

"View all problems as challenges. Look upon negativities that arise as opportunities to learn and to grow. Don't run from them, condemn yourself, or bury your burden in saintly silence. You have a problem? Great. More grist for the mill. Rejoice, dive in, and investigate." -Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, "Mindfulness in Plain English"
From Belief Net Buddhist Wisdom daily newsletter

Jon Stewart's 2004 commencement speech at the College of William and Mary --

In between the amusing typically Jon Stewart lines, some interesting bits of what sounds like wisdom.

A snippet: "... When I left William and Mary I was shell-shocked. Because when you're in college it's very clear what you have to do to succeed. And I imagine here everybody knows exactly the number of credits they needed to graduate, where they had to buckle down, which introductory psychology class would pad out the schedule. You knew what you had to do to get to this college and to graduate from it. But the unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. The paths are infinite and the results uncertain. And it can be maddening to those that go here, especially here, because your strength has always been achievement. So if there's any real advice I can give you it's this.

College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don't worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency which I imagine, after going through the program here, is quite strong...although I'm sure downloading illegal files, but, nah, that's a different story.

Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let the chips fall where they may. " ...

Read it all: Jon Stewart's 2004 commencement speech at the College of William and Mary --

Wednesday, June 16, 2004


mental energy but few sentences-
thoughts swirl,
subjects morph into something else-
tangents, always tangents,
little clarity...

Wednesday memes..

Wednesday Whatevers for June 16, 2004
1. Do you think out loud? :: Increasingly often these days- when I am multi-tasking with mundane things and lots of other distractions surrounding me. I do try to avoid it when there are other people present, but sometimes it happens then too.
2. What color pen do you prefer to write in?:: Ah, this is easy- I like black pens for lecture notes, paying bills and snail mail letters (yes, I do still write a few of those now and then), red pens for things to remember and circling things in catalogs, and blue-violet brush tipped markers for doodling. I especially like someone else's silver ink on a blue note card.
3. How would you describe your voice?:: Low - not so low as to be mistaken for male, just low and usually full of readable inflections that I sometimes have to be careful about revealing.

TRIGGER::::: Eyes are.... ...the windows to the soul, of course.

Monday, June 14, 2004

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Unconscious Mutterings

Week 71
I say ... and you think ... ?
  1. Colorblind:: unable to see color or some colors
  2. Shallow:: no depth, all surface
  3. Erotica:: sexually stimulating art of all sorts; different from pornography
  4. Figment:: made up, created, feigned
  5. Eviction:: expulsion
  6. Composed:: what I often reflect on the surface.. but not always :-)
  7. Chill:: in the air- psychic or weather related
  8. Girl:: female young person
  9. California:: seventh largest economy in the world; third largest state in the U.S.; the golden state; It does rain, just not very often in Southern California most years.
  10. Bond:: strong connection

Want to play? Go to Unconscious Mutterings

Saturday, June 12, 2004

"The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-Create Your World Your Way"; Dr. Wayne Dyer

Years ago I read "Your Erroneous Zones"- as I recall this was an easily understandable bit of cognitive psychology. I also read "Pulling Your Own Strings" when it came out. I saw him a couple of weeks ago on a public television fund drive with a lecture that was intriguing. This morning I clicked on another public television station and saw him again- same lecture only I managed to catch more of it this time. The topic is about "connecting with source", being part of a field of energy, and how your beliefs are fulfilled through all of this.

He talked about ignoring what other people think about what you should or shouldn't do, ignoring the negative things people tell you about you and much more. He talks about giving away in order to gain- and how if you can't feel kindly and loving towards yourself, you can't give that to others. He talks about how focusing on what is not in your life will perpetuate that condition, but if you believe that those things will happen- confidently-- things will fall into place. How you think about these things is crucial. A great deal of it sounds like a mindset difference that I have been working towards all my life- like shades of James Allen ("As A Man Thinketh", a book my grandmother gave me when I was still quite young), William James and others.

Amazon mentions others in this same field of thought: "Other leading-edge voices in this conversation include Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now), Shakti Gawain (Creative Visualization ) and Lynn Grabhorn (Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting)".

It sounds like something I definitely want to read. There are CD's too.

The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-Create Your World Your Way

They list a few other books that look interesting too.

Friday, June 11, 2004

Data and statistics

Way cool for finding all kinds of statistical documents online: Eyebeam Research: Annual Data Sources.

Wandering around their other pages is an interesting excursion too. Try this page or wander the index.

found via a link at Overstated Oddments

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Lulu's Lines #34

Lulu's Lines #34- 9th June,2004 (

TRIGGER::::: I love watching..... sunrises and sunsets far away from the city, preferably in mountains and/or forests - and even better would be watching either or both of them with someone special who feels the same about those kinds of places.

I have been getting notifications of these for weeks, and finally found a moment to look at them.

Wednesday Whatevers- a little late

Wednesday Whatevers
For June 9, 2004:

1. Do you prefer happy or sad endings, and why? :: I prefer happy endings, I can create the sad ones all by myself.

2. What is the most annoying thing about computers? :: When they don't work at seemingly the most critical times, which is pretty much anytime they don't work.

3. Who has the biggest influence on the world now? :: I don't know. Many people have major influence- it depends where and what issue one is talking about. Many leaders of various countries have major impact on the world. Countries are made up of people who have more and less degree of control at any one moment, over those people in charge.

Oil and profits without regard for how they are obtained, seem to be the dominating players in the world. I am opposed to all of those things having that much power. I think the quality of life of people ought to be the major influence.

There seem to be subtle and not so subtle changes in everything around us- small groups of people competing for space and control of everything, instead of working towards any kind of harmony or quality of life for all. And I have now drifted several tangents away from the question.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004


"Far more crucial than what we know or what we do not know is what we do not want to know." ~ Eric Hoffer.

"The old Eskimo hunters she had known in her childhood thought the riches of life were intelligence, fearlessness, and love. A man with these gifts was rich." ~Jean Craighead George

from alt.quotations.inspirational

Monday, June 07, 2004

Accepted into Program for Fall

I just learned tonight (from my undergrad program advisor who also is head of the graduate program), that I was accepted into the program for the Master of Science degree in Counseling, with the Rehabilitation counseling option, plus some other little certificates and extras. The official confirmation letter will come later in the week, but since he was giving tonight's final exam (that also went well I think), he told me after I turned in my exam.

I am almost finished with this quarter (one more class meeting and project to turn in), have a week or so off, then ten weeks of classes for summer and I am done with the Bachelor of Science degree. Then on to the Master's program in September!! Yippie!!

Monday Question

#19. What was right about today? this week?

Sunday, June 06, 2004

Unconcious Mutterings

Week 70
I say ... and you think ... ?
  1. Charity:: generosity, kindness
  2. Scale:: weigh; notes; climb
  3. Jennifer Lopez:: cute, well promoted
  4. Coercion:: forced, threatened -direct or indirect
  5. Meter:: distance; measure; equal time
  6. Pressure:: force; tire; work; deadlines; expectations
  7. June:: pleasant sixth month Gregorian
  8. Infestation:: bugs; cause of last year's fires
  9. Serial killer:: disturbed aberrations, abnormal psych
  10. Anguish:: extreme distress; agonize, followed by despair

Want to play? Go to Unconscious Mutterings

Saturday, June 05, 2004

Ronald & Nancy Reagan- "without you I am not whole"

I had something else I was working on to post about a number of related things connected to identity and purpose, but Ronald Reagan died today. I did have the news on, and there were endless clips, commentary and chatter that I eventually tuned out. Agree or disagree with his politics and policies (and there were more than a few which I did), as governor of California and later as President of the United States, I don't think anyone ever doubted that he had the state or the country's best interests at heart. And he was a very charismatic man, no matter the politics.

There was also never any doubt that he and Nancy Reagan loved each other. Numerous rude comments were made about her adoring gaze when looking at her husband during speeches or press conferences during his presidency. At the time, I found some of his comments about her (and her about him) and some of the syrupy things that were said, almost too good to be true. I was much younger and I didn't know what I know right this moment.

Tonight one of the segments on the news reports talked about how she was never out of his thoughts even when he was away; how he talked about her, wrote letters to her and let her know that she was in his heart. One of the reminiscences included a quote from a letter he wrote to her while he was aboard Air Force One; it said: "I more than love you, without you I am not whole." How could you not gaze adoringly at a man who took the time to write that to you, after all those years of marriage?

He was 93 and the last years must have been hell on Nancy as he lost the ability to recognize her and function at all and she lost the love of her life, one day at a time. My thoughts and condolences tonight are for her.

edit and add: Reagan Love Affair Lasted Decades

Thursday, June 03, 2004

"It is up to us..."

From Belief Net, "Daily Buddhist Wisdom" newsletter, comes this quote:

"We are not compelled to meditate by some outside agent, by other people, or by God. Rather, just as we are responsible for our own suffering, so are we solely responsible for our own cure. We have created the situation in which we find ourselves, and it is up to us to create the circumstances for our release."-Lama Thubten Yeshe, "Wisdom Energy"

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Saving money?

Political Animal by Kevin Drum at The Washington Monthly has a post entitled "COSTCO" where he talks about going by CostCo and seeing the cars lined up ten deep at each bay to buy gasoline at $2.27/gal. The punch line: "That means these folks were all willing to idle away in line at CostCo for 20 minutes in order to save about a dollar. It's amazing, isn't it? It's almost like CostCo has them hypnotized or something."

Of course, not mentioned is that those folks time is worth something too. I have given up on discussing this exact thing in this household. I will not drive five miles in a direction I don't normally go, taking thirty minutes or more round trip, possibly wait in line another many minutes, to save 10 cents/gallon or less. It isn't worth my time or frustration.

For that amount of effort and time, I want them to pump my gas, clean my windshields, check my oil and water and save 10 cents/gallon. If they did, I might think about it.

oops! I paid no attention to which blog was on top using the blogthis/blogger button on the toolbar. I posted to the wrong blog, but I guess it fits here too -- maybe as a mini-rant of the day?