Wednesday, January 03, 2007

"With kindly intent..."

Someone who is about to admonish another must realize within himself five qualities before doing so [that he may be able to say], thus:

"In due season will I speak, not out of season. In truth I will speak, not in falsehood. Gently will I speak, not harshly. To his profit will I speak, not to his loss. With kindly intent will I speak, not in anger."

-"Vinaya Pitaka," translated by F.S. Woodward
From "Teachings of the Buddha," edited by Jack Kornfield, 1993.
Reprinted by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Boston,
From BeliefNet Buddhist Wisdom

Isn't it amazing how if one is working on letting go, going with the flow, mellowing out, wink pink, that one's attention is drawn to the right thing at the right time?

...back in a few days....

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

... untie the ribbons...

"That some good can be derived from every event is a better proposition than that everything happens for the best, which it assuredly does not." ~James K. Feibleman

We just have to look... and sometimes we have to scrutinize in minute detail to find the barest glimpse.... but the good to be derived is there somewhere... I need to stay convinced of that..

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead and some come from behind.
But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.
Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"

~Dr. Seuss

Some moments I want to be like the Dr. Suess character who might have said this...

"Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons." ~Ruth Ann Schabacker

But this one is my favorite.. When I remember, things look so very differently. If I can't find the gifts in one place, they will be found in some other place. I just need to keep my mind open and looking outward.


update for the personal journal: My father still can't speak though he's off the respirator. He had to have a tracheotomy at one point, and it is interfering with the other parts of his recovery. My father's wife is angry at me because I got upset with her for not including me or my sister on the list of family that could call for updates, which we discovered by accident. It made my sister hysterical and I responded with big sister protector style... Probably a little too overdone. I am also no longer allowed to speak to my father. It was his wife's way of punishing me for daring to be upset with her. I didn't tell him of course. During the course of this whole big deal, she said the most hateful, cruel thing one could say to an adopted child... "you aren't family and you won't be treated like family".

Sigh.. It brought out the insecure child hidden away deep inside. I was completely surprised to see the little girl who was afraid of being abandoned.

My sister is doing well, sometimes in terrible pain, but getting stronger. In a weird way, this other crisis has forced her to focus outward and on gaining strength to deal with the weird family, not on feeling pain.

I bet there are some weird family quotes that I will find before too long.

I will be in Indiana over the weekend. I've already been told that I can't see my father, so I shouldn't come. I'm going anyway. I'm taking the camera, though I'm not at all sure i will find any moments to take pictures of the surrounding area....

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." ~Franklin D. Roosevelt