Sunday, October 31, 2004

Unconscious Mutterings

Week 91
I say ... and you think ... ?
  1. Right now:: a slight melancholy mood trying to break down the door.. holding it back or hopefully letting it go, by acknowledging that it is there
  2. Halloween:: kids in cute costumes asking for candy (have some stashed and ready); adults in costumes at parties; large North Hollywood street bash
  3. Provider:: health care
  4. Rescue me:: nah.... I don't need rescuing, but now and then I wish that nights weren't quite so lonely.
  5. Confidence:: have some most of the time, but it fails me in odd moments
  6. Fungus:: mushrooms
  7. Candy corn:: once a year appearance, pretty much corn syrup sugar and food coloring
  8. Reunion:: never attend the high school ones
  9. Winner:: Someone will, could be you.
  10. Tradition:: have some that are important to me- chosen, not automatically adopted.
Want to play? Go to Unconscious Mutterings

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Friday's early start and nice ending

Friday's early start was to attend a class required tour of Rancho Los Amigos National Rehabilitation Center in Downey. We spent over an hour hearing about and absorbing some of the amazing ways they assist people in finding the right technology for living, in their Center for Applied Rehabilitation Technology (CART), and then got the overview tour of some of the rest of the facility.

The technology aspect and potential fascinates me, both high-tech and low-tech solutions. Some things are applicable to a wide variety of uses including the obstacles that can develop from aging. I would love to explore more of this in a formal way, but I might settle for just reading more and thinking about things in a new way. The whole visit was eye opening and my mind was spinning off a thousand tangents.

On an entirely different note, as of late Friday afternoon I am officially employed part-time (exactly as I wished, except it is still temporary instead of permanent), working for the non-profit at which I have been interning. That first internship begun almost a year ago was synchronicity. I had intended to intern with Goodwill Industries for that first quarter (my role would have been peripheral in Voc Rehab Assessment), but in a long series of misses, could not seem to connect with the person I needed to see. I couldn't wait any longer, so going over a list I created from a search of possible intern sites, I saw one that was close to home. It involved working with adults with developmental and other disabilities- something I hadn't any previous experience with at all. I called them; they took me (free help is usually welcome).

As it turned out, I found a niche I was very comfortable with and that used a number of my talents and interests with room to grow. No two days are ever the same, which also suits me. For now, this is exactly where I want to be.

Friday, October 29, 2004

Is there some unwritten rule?

Why is it that the earlier I need to be up, out the door and on the road, the more things I find that must be done before sleeping, and the later I seem to need to stay up?

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Thoughts for a Thursday- Six by Buscaglia

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

"Love is life. . . . And if you miss love, you miss life."

"Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God."

"We need not be afraid to touch, to feel, to show emotion. The easiest thing in the world is to be what you are, what you feel. The hardest thing to be is what other people want you to be."

"We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death."

“It's not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something. May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of personkind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely.”

all quotes by: Leo Buscaglia (1924 -1998), American author & lecturer on love & relationships, former professor at Univ. of So.Calif.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

End of a strange day...

Today has been a strange day. And this will be a wandering, meandering post meant more for me to look back later to see what might have been happening- nothing particularly clever or thoughtful.

First, to Red Sox fans everywhere- Congratulations! The long curse is broken. The two Sox fans (one born in MA) in this house were still unwilling to trust it was going to happen until the very end. It seems to me this is an event something like hell freezing over.

While I was wandering around on the web I found Live Cams for Los Angeles Downtown, Burbank, Long Beach and LAX. Once upon a time I found a site with links to city type webcams from all over. I can't remember where it was and I am too lazy to do a Google search.

Today's weather in SoCal has been pretty strange- much more like January than October- but strange even if it was January. In the space of a few hours we had rain, hail, snow, wind, waterspouts, mudslides, flooding, and bright sun. Added to that was a 3.? earthquake (just a little shaker) near San Bernadino. The air is still unstable, so we are not necessarily done with it yet. The Mountain High ski resorts in Wrightwood opened for the season, as of noon today!! This is the earliest ever in their 60 year history- by a few weeks. The San Bernadino resorts won't be far behind. (oh and there are more cams with a little wandering around the Wrightwood site).

It was raining heavy, the worst downpour of the day (complete with lightning and loud thunder), when it was time for me to leave for the practicum class this afternoon. The Foothill freeway was closed completely for a while. I called the professor for the class and now am trying to figure out how to take public transportation on rain days for future events (the last time I sought information, the time required was purported to be four hours minimum and the cost was prohibitive).

Finding the information isn't easy.. MTA doesn't seem to recognize my location as one they serve (wrong, there are two MTA lines up here, and one of them surely runs to Union station or the local rail stop?!!). It looks like it will be one of those "you can't get there from here" type things. I was hoping to take a bus to the rail connection, rail to downtown Union Station, then bus to campus. I thought maybe that might be quicker. [sigh]. Public transportation in LA leaves a great deal to be desired.

Midterm exam on Thursday evening, but the rain is supposed to move completely out of the area by then. After that, I get to spend the weekend trying to get a little ahead of the work that will be due in the next five weeks. I will need the wiggle room and breathing space.

Last note: What's up with the television series, West Wing??!!! They seem to have killed off Leo after a disagreement with the President!! Awwww.. shoot. I liked that character. Somehow I can't picture Jimmy Smits taking over the Chief of Staff position.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Rough week ahead

Midterms start this week and I won't be home for more than a quick run in and out the door before heading to class to take the test on Monday. Tuesday is a slight breather. Wednesday is no test, but I must do a double taping of mock counseling sessions, because I wasn't there last week. I still have several written assignments to upload (that aren't finished!). Thursday is the last midterm. Wish me luck and moments I can steal to review terms multiple times, and finish the written assignments.

It doesn't sound like much, but some of the material isn't easy to remember; medical aspects= condition specifics, rehabilitation potential.. and a term/numeric rating system for various things like age, activity restrictions, etc. The other test is on the history of vocational rehabilitation including laws and their overview, remembering dates and specifics. [Sigh].. I will be glad when some of this sort of thing is over. I need to know these things, but my area of specialization isn't likely to be strictly voc rehab (though that is where the pay might be better, but I am not in it for the "riches". Ha!)- so some of the material is useful, some is less so.

There is more rain in the forecast this week. I hope it holds off or else only rains in the daytime. I will have no choice about driving in it.

And now having posted my Unconscious Mutterings for the week and this, I am off to sleep at an almost reasonable hour for a change.... with medically prescribed sleeping assistance... still later than I had planned.

Unconscious Mutterings Week 90

I say and you think?
  1. Blackout:: unable to see; unconsciousness; dark; loss of electric power
  2. Platinum:: precious metal; catalytic converter material
  3. Leather and lace:: Stevie Nicks and Don Henley
  4. Court:: and Spark- Joni Mitchell
  5. Mind your own business:: rude reply
  6. Gambling:: Las Vegas; Indian Casinos
  7. Lily:: Day; Tiger; White
  8. Evasive:: non answer
  9. Turn-on:: ;-) I could list a few, but what would be the fun of that?
  10. Suspect:: negative intuition
Want to play? Go to Unconscious Mutterings

Thursday, October 21, 2004

"Nothing at All Has Unchanging Self"

When you ride in a boat and watch the shore, you might assume that the shore is moving. But when you keep your eyes closely on the boat, you can see that the boat moves. Similarly, if you examine myriad things with a confused body and mind you might suppose that your mind and nature are permanent. When you practice intimately and return to where you are, it will be clear that nothing at all has unchanging self.
~~"Actualizing the Fundamental Point" by Zen Master Dogen
from Beliefnet Buddhist Wisdom (newsletter)


(Symptoms of too little time)

Overflowing email,
past due reading,
Only the color coded- urgent & friends
garners attention.
All else is left to languish in files,
for stolen moments
like this.

One thing done and who knows how many to go...

Yippie! The five page double-spaced paper (plus two pages of references; five pages was supposed to be the maximum; I could have written much more) on Assistive Computer Technology (focused on one aspect of the current research) is finally revised, finished, completed, never to be looked at again!

Well, that's not entirely true; perhaps I will look at it again, because it could be a better review and might be useful for compiling for publication. I didn't do a complete search of the literature, but enough to know that someone needs to sort out and compile the findings of the most recent studies of my focus.

[sigh of relief] Now I can turn my attention to studying for midterms and uploading two assignments for my practicum class; after I attend class tonight, of course.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Two for thought

"The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations." ~ David Friedman

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be." ~ Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night

From Quotes of the Day for October 20, 2004

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Cool Toy


Hayes Solos Raffle's -- master's thesis

.. clever, clever. I want some.

Day Three

rain... rain.. rain... lots and lots of rain.. flash flood warnings for the burn areas.. fog... and maybe even snow at higher elevations. A little thunder rumbles now and then when a heavier cell moves through. A very messy night.
Being very spoiled and missing the sunshine, I hope Wednesday is the last of it for this week.

Tonight would be a good time for a fire in the fireplace, soft music playing, a beverage of choice, listening to the rain coming down and ...and... .. oh, ok.. instead, I guess a good book might be some sort of substitute..


edit at 11:55PM: The gusty wind they were talking about on the news just made it to the Foothills, or else just I didn't hear it earlier. Wonderful, perfect weather for that fireplace scenerio.

Farscape and the Peacekeeper Wars

I missed Part 1 of the mini-series, both Sunday and tonight on the Sci Fi channel. Is anyone out there a fan who watched it and can tell me how John Crichton and Aeryn managed to avoid that missle headed for the rowboat? Or maybe they didn't pick up where the series left off? And how much did the wormhole weapon destroy before Crichton stopped it? I haven't made up my mind yet on the ending- hokey or making a wishful statement?

It find it strange to seeming kill off a show's main characters and then bring them back for another round. But I guess it works. Belief suspension is required to begin with. The Sci Fi channel apparently likes that script line, since they had a variation of that for Rodenberry's Andromeda.

Not that these things are the most important things on my mind, but Farscape was a nice diversion. I like science fiction, even the much worse written things. And I surely needed a break from reality.

Monday, October 18, 2004

About driving in the rain

Perhaps I should explain a little. One of my pet peeves is people who hang on to their driver's license long after they should have turned it in. They are a danger to themselves and everyone else. I have vowed never to be one of those people. When that day comes for me, I have a problem living here in Los Angeles, and especially in the Foothills. Public transportation isn't that efficient and it takes triple and often more the amount of time to get to somewhere, but I will still voluntarily give up driving (San Diego and San Francisco look much friendlier from that vantage point).

I am not that old, but my vision has deteriorated in odd ways. I won't describe them all, but they don't seem to be just the normal pattern of aging. One of the things that happens due to the combination of oddities in my vision at night, is that I react to the suggestion of movement in the periphery. Under normal conditions I can tune some of that out- the rational mind overriding the primative brain.

With my newest glasses some of my night problems have decreased and I feel comfortable when driving familiar routes- not complacent, but comfortable. If I am in an unfamiliar area, then it is a little anxiety producing and I only drive if it is necessary. If it rains and I try to drive at night, it is a nightmare and I am probably dangerous- so I avoid that almost entirely. My reaction times are still quick, only in the rain I find myself reacting to both real and not real situations and not entirely able to override that fight or flight system.

I looked at the projections for the storm tonight, and it had changed from likely to NOT be raining at 9PM, to likely would be raining at 9PM. I stayed home from class. I dislike missing class, but know I shouldn't be out there and it was the responsible thing to do.

Other people who like new blog toys

Hit Maps Users shows the sites, count and the small version of the maps, though not when the information started being collected. I don't care much about count, but it is nice to see where everyone is physically located.

I still think the World as a Blog and Blogroll visualized are great projects, but apparently not that many people in my blogroll have geo tags listed in their blog templates.

It Never Rains in California (they lie)

Rain in LA
accidents quadruple
freeways crawl

The gray skies open
streets flood
maniac people drive


Well, how about that? We actually have some rain- real rain. That's always a pretty big deal here. One day last week I woke to a gray morning that suddenly produced rain coming down in huge, fast falling drops.... for twenty seconds, followed by forty seconds of misty drizzle. That was the extent of the wetness in my part of the Foothills that day. This time, it has been raining off and on since Sunday and is expected to continue through Wednesday as more storms roll through.

As near as I can tell, it will be likely be raining when I leave and hopefully not raining when I drive home. Wednesday, I may not have that kind of luck. I dislike driving in the rain. But, I really hate driving in the rain in the dark. I don't see as well in the dark these days (bad enough to only drive in familiar places and will probably voluntarily stop driving after dark completely in the next four years if it gets worse) and in the rain, my body is hit with a continuous surge of adrenaline as my fight or flight responses engage. Short translation- No matter how I might try to control it, I am literally scared driving under those conditions. When I arrive home and shut off the engine, my body starts shaking and an overwhelming, complete exhaustion sets in.

Of course, here in Los Angeles traffic accidents can quadruple with a little rain, even on a Sunday; streets and freeways flood in all kinds of low lying places along with some unexpected ones; the long periods of dryness allow the oil to build up on the streets, so it is indeed slick for the first day or so during a gentle rain. Expecting the unexpected is the only way to drive during those times. But we seem to have a prevalence of two kinds of drivers- those that drive too fast as if there is no rain at all, and those that drive as if it was sleet and snow falling. Both of those kinds of folks add to the perilous nature of our freeways during rain.

We do need the rain; we are behind in rainfall total and the fire danger has been very high. It is supposed to be a mild El Nino (experimental map here) (news article here) year, so that means we can expect a bit more to come. I can't telecommute to see clients, but I sure wish I could telecommute to my classes.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Unconscious Mutterings

Week 89
I say ... and you think ... ?
  1. Dimension:: scope, picture, size; The dimensions of the problems Shrub has caused will not be known for years.
  2. Roger:: Daltrey; Rabbit; Miller; Major Roger Healey on I Dream of Jeanie; MR. Rogers; Roy Rogers
  3. CSI:: A favorite television show; smart slightly geeky men turn me on ;-) and I've liked Marg Helgenberger since her China Beach days
  4. Passenger:: along for the ride; taken to a place I don't wanna be
  5. Thankful:: for friends and family; Oh and a belated Happy Thanksgiving to the Canadians
  6. Has-been:: I hope that's the description applied to Shrub in a few weeks and come January, he fades back to Texas
  7. Bambino:: 's curse.. A Red Sox fan lives in this home (not me)
  8. Wrinkles:: oh yeah, I have some. Why is it that some folks think that wrinkles add character to men's faces but for women it's just considered old?
  9. Cable TV:: the only way to get reception in the Foothills.. hundreds of channels but not much on; I'm waiting for the everything/anything ever on screen on demand channels. I have some serious indi-film catching up to do.
  10. Voicemail:: on my cell; took it off my land line- no one would get the messages except me. If someone wants to reach me when I am not home, either they have my cell number, or they can email, or maybe I don't need to talk to them. As to businesses, I don't call to get stuck listening to a hundred options, none of them fitting my particular concerns; give me a quick way to reach a live person or you better be the only one in town offering your service.
Want to play? Go to Unconscious Mutterings.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

More gems of the day

This post at Hoarded Ordinaries made me smile. There are gems scattered throughout. Snipping out two, but you ought to read them in context: "Whatever you do, sweetheart, don't slap your expectations on my body." and "Like Walt Whitman, the Universe is large and contains multitudes. Both the Universe and my apartment are filled with the Unexpected."

From Dating God:
"Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust." " Stop being who you were, and change into who you are. "

I plan to update this post later or add another post to the day because there were other good reads, but I am late for a gathering that I must attend (an hour late already- what's "fashionable" these days???).

I am probably dragging my feet because I ought to be writing a paper and I ought to be doing chores around the house and I ought to be doing a hundred different things.. but I would rather be reading, thinking, drifting... plus it is a gray day here and my bones hurt. Part social/ mostly work/networking type gatherings are not a-n-y-w-h-e-r-e in my list of things I like to do. There will be quite a few people attending that I enjoy talking with, but it just isn't my kind of gig.

Yes, that says a part of it...

From Barbara De Angelis, through Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, to the two pieces that Don wrote, perhaps especially the haiku, every one of the 4 Saturday posts at Conscious-Living Poetry held some wisp of how I have been feeling.

Friday, October 15, 2004

Early morning dark hours, after a week not over yet...

Restless, and
Tired beyond reason and sleep
Needing full connection and finding empty
In the silence, my thoughts are loud
A thousand tangents racing off in slow motion
To no comfort
If I drew them, they would fill a page
Lines to everywhere, but back

~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~

Every place a task
Every moment scheduled, outlined for a script
With a role to play
Every interaction a withdrawal
Of unneeded parts, cast away.
The unspoken demands met
Because I chose to take the path of least effort.

I hate that.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Look with your heart perhaps?

"You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." ~Mark Twain

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

tweaking things

Haloscan trackback has been added to this blog.

well sort of.. there are some things that have to be fixed..

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Anger and Rudeness Issues: Two to Think About

"Here's a truth I know: Every time I am rude or thoughtless, every time I am careless with someone's feelings, every time I call someone a name during a fight, every time I act in a way I know to be harmful as a way to feel relief from what I'm feeling (because that's the only reason we lash out at others -- to make ourselves feel better) I know I'm destroying my credibility as a loving human being."

It sounds like a truth to me, too.

Found via The Obvious?: I know, I know...
credited as Feith Stuart via How To Save The World: Temper, Temper (Dave Pollard)

Dave Pollard's article is worth reading in full. I use a variation of the five year question to stop myself from hasty, heated reactions- Will it matter the same in an hour, a day, a month, a year? It works when I stop myself long enough to ask. If I do, I am more reasoned and rational in my response when it does matter, and shrug off the rest. Even if it is only my little corner of the world, for that moment I haven't added to the distress- my own or others.

And that puts me in mind of an article that was referenced by Liz, at I speak of Dreams, that I meant to post about but then got sidetracked:

snip: "Throughout recorded history, every generation has probably bemoaned the decline of manners and civility. But what we see today is different. We have become a nation of cranks and scolds, of people who leap at every opportunity to wag a finger, or flip one. Just below the surface of our pretty-normal selves burbles the soul of an old lady with a shotgun across her lap."

snip: " We are behaving, frankly, the way people do who are under siege. They become angry and territorial because ... "

....(more of the article here- but the bottom line is below)

"Kindness, it appears, also opens the release valve. Might be a remedy worth exploring."

Three for Tuesday

"Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons." ~Ruth Ann Schabacker

"Give me a fruitful error anytime, full of seeds, bursting with its own corrections." ~Vilfredo Pareto

"The whole of humanity is…one human family. This planet is our only home." ~His Holiness the Dalai Lama

From Beliefnet newsletters

Tierra del Sol Foundation 2004 Harvest Festival Benefit

Saturday October 16th is the 2004 Harvest Festival Benefit at Tierra del Sol Foundation at the Sunland campus (9919 Sunland Blvd, Sunland) from 10AM to 4PM.

A pumpkin patch, barbecue lunch, live music, bake sale, prize drawings, craft sales and a Kids Zone with an entertainment stage, petting zoo, games, jumping box, and face painting are some of the activities and events planned. Proceeds from the event help to support Tierra's training, employment and support services programs, serving adults with developmental and multiple disabilities.

Nestled close to the Foothills with a beautiful, large wooded campus-- From the 5 Freeway, exit Sunland Blvd and go east. Turn left into the Tierra driveway. From the 210 Freeway, exit Sunland Blvd. and go west towards Shadow Hills. For more information call 818-352-1419 ext 240.

Plan to bring the kids, pick out a pumpkin and have a little fun. You'll be helping some amazing people in the process.

About Tierra's programs and mission: Tierra Del Sol Foundation

Address: 9919 Sunland Blvd. Sunland, Ca. 91040
Phone: (818) 352-1419

Monday, October 11, 2004

New toys and Ramblings of a Morning

It is a chilly morning here in LA and I love it. I still have the deck door open (but wearing a sweatshirt and yoga pants instead of a T and bike shorts; oh and still barefoot because it will have to get really cold before I find feet coverings necessary inside), but finally the temps are starting to come down to my perfect weather range. I have been up a couple of hours, which makes the day seem better too... of course that is all a factor of actually getting some sleep last night. I should really make sure that even if I am tired, I take the time to clear out my head before trying to sleep. You'd think I would remember by now.

On Sunday, I added a couple of new toys to the blog. I have been seeing both of them at various blogs, so being immersed in finding ways not to study, I added them to the sidebar. I may change the order around a bit. I really want to redo the entire blog, but am not sure that I can find the time to learn some new tricks and fuss with everything.

The first new toy on the right below links, is HitMap showing the locations for visitors to this blog. I thought it was pretty cool. If you click the map you can get a larger size. I think the last place I saw it before I decided to check it out was at McGee's Musings.

The other is a Chatango button and I saw that at gassho before succumbing. I will be shocked if anyone actually wants to chat, and might actually be shy about that (I like my visual and auditory cues to garner full meaning), but it is also useful to send a message without an immediate conversation even if I am not online (but then so is email). I am not sure it will stay here, but perhaps. I have all the usual chat programs and still seldom use them.

Off to finish the studying I should have done yesterday. I have some research to do as well as reading of course, plus finish a little assignment identifying counselor responses and plugging them into categories.

We lose an advocate

I don't follow celebrities, don't care about the latest gossip, don't follow the award shows much except in passing, and don't read any of the celeb mags or pages in the news. It just doesn't interest me how they live their lives. Christopher Reeve is one of the few that I did pay some attention to, even tuning in for a few television news mag interviews, following his progress and his advocacy for those with spinal cord injuries. He was an inspiration to many in rehabilitation settings and to those working in the field. It's sad to hear that he is dead today at age 52, of heart failure - a victim of a series of complications arising from his spinal cord injury. He will be missed.

Christopher Reeve Paralysis Foundation
Christopher and Dana Reeve Paralysis Resource Center: Home

Sunday, October 10, 2004

a micro-rant and half thought out mini-reply

THIS post at Wirearchy, first annoyed me and then just made me very sad and furthered my frustration. There is a "sorry" from Jon, in his comments, but I am always surprised when someone equates the beliefs of an entire population with the actions of that country's leaders.

The rest of what I had to say is at Corner.

Transitions and Evolutions

Trying to catch up on folks in my Frequent Read list, I read this post from Keri Smith at Wish Jar Journal: "principles rather than formulas...confessions of an autodidact"

She starts out with "I am one of those people who is constantly looking for answers of some kind. It is just my nature."

Of course that caught my attention. Yes, me too. I continue to work on allowing some questions just to be questions, to know that even if I come up with an answer to some, they won't necessarily have the same answer tomorrow.

She discusses her "early on" involvement with self help books. I remember that phase of life, not that I have outgrown it, but I don't look for the same sorts of books these days. I don't recall ever thinking that I would find anyone's else's set of answers to be the full picture for me, but I was searching for clues. That might be due to the influences of my grandmother- definitely an existentialist leaning, march to your own drummer sort of woman. (That's likely the place where I learned not to simply accept anyone else's answers as truth... The contradiction: Don't accept anyone else's truths automatically, but somehow absorb that "that" truth is a truth? ;-) )

Note this line- a very important piece to all puzzles:

"Life does not always go according to some formula, but is rather a compilation of transitions and evolutions. Formula falls apart in the wake of intense change, adaptation is key."

Later she says:
... "The best books in my opinion are the ones that cause me to ask the interesting questions of myself, not necessarily provide answers. (Just as the best teachers I had in school.) Some of the great works of literature (fiction) may act as the best form of self-help, causing us to ask questions of ourselves, forcing us to look at what we believe in, what scares us, what fill us up."


Unconscious Mutterings Week 88

I say ... and you think ... ?
  1. Spacious:: outdoors; breathing room
  2. Crash:: Summer 2003 son's totaled motorcycle
  3. Autobiography:: oh... where to begin, whose to list... gosh, I can think of so many...
  4. Sparkly:: catch the light things; diamond jewelry in any flash of light; my collection of crystal prisms catching the sun; glittery ornaments hanging on a tree.
  5. Wild Thing:: "you make my heart sing"; three, maybe four chords: A, D, E, .... G? my guitar needs work, so I can't play it to be sure.. the phrase sure does take me back a ways..
  6. Haagen-Das:: I like vanilla drenched with really good melted chocolate on top
  7. Sci-fi:: another one of those things that brings a torrent of thought.. I like all kinds of Sci-Fi movies and books.. Heinlein, Asimov, Adams... so many...
  8. Voice:: presence; tonal quality that adds to meaning and understanding
  9. Boy Scouts:: some good qualities to the organization
  10. Grief:: part of life and living; a process, not a single reaction; it is necessary to express and work through grief and its stages; suppressed it can do enormous damage.
Want to play? Go to Unconscious Mutterings

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Can't sleep

Thoughts about the world
war, people dying
bombings, abductions
beheadings that continue
mixed with to do lists
my surroundings.
Is there a safe place?
Schedules, where to be/do
flu vaccine
the price of oil
future notes
Is there a best path?
Black cat not mine, crying on the fence
wanting attention
doublespeaking politicians
Can someone make a difference?
Is there enough soap to clean the floors?
the world?
My world
jumbled up in my head.

Can't sleep.

Friday, October 08, 2004

Girls Like Me

I have enjoyed Mary Chapin Carpenter's songs and lyrics for a long time. Some of the music melodies of her albums as her career moved along, began to sound a lot like her previous albums (and this one appears no different), but her lyrics often have something that catch a tiny little piece of parts of me or something I recognize from the past.

The newest album is Between Here And Gone

Lyrics for Album: Between Here And Gone
Lyrics for Song: Girls Like Me

Girls like me aren’t hard to find
We grow like roses on the vine
We wear our hearts on our sleeves
You probably know a girl like me.

We live alone and in our heads
We eat standing up or in our beds
Guilt and fear merge easily
In the quiet souls of girls like me

And loneliness is like a cold,
Common and no cure we’re told
We take to bed per chance to dream
In the blue light of the TV screen.

Girls like me like summer light
And cold beer on a summer night
And boys who aren’t afraid of what they see
Inside the eyes of girls like me

And hopefulness is like a drug
It makes a girl believe in love
And if somehow you love us back
You think there’s something wrong with that

Girls like me aren’t hard to trust
Your deepest secret’s safe with us
And when it’s time to set you free
You can always count on girls like me

It’s good to know a girl like me
You used to love a girl like me

Listen to samples of "Between Here and Gone" by scrolling down the page at Amazon

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Fact check dot ORG, Mr. VP

Ahhhh.... Turns out that the VP misspoke about a website mentioned in conjunction with a response about Halliburton and about the contents of that website.
First the dot com he mentioned, is anti-Bush, but the actual site he meant, the Annenberg Political Fact Check site, isn't exactly Pro-Bush, but rather pro- facts.

Neutral? Maybe. The bit of perusing I did, clearly suggests they are making a concerted attempt. Good for them.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Long Repressed Emotions Stored in the Body?

I read Candice Pert's (Ph.D. former NIH researcher, now Georgetown University research professor) book, Molecules of Emotion, over a year ago and was fascinated with the connections she found and the ones she hypothesized concerning emotions being stored in the body. I received a free magazine in the mail (who knows from what list I am on) recently, called "Experience Life" from the Lifetime Fitness company, which has a number of fitness, nutrition and healthy life articles. Among them was an article on how powerful long buried emotions can be released through exercise and also how some people in the field of mental health are focused on figuring out those connections. The Pert book was mentioned, as were a number of other people in the health and psychology fields.

In the distant past, I might have dismissed the speculations of some of those who might be working exclusively with this sort of thing, feeling they were on the radical fringe, but I am not so quick to dismiss anything like this these days, and especially so after reading the Pert book. I am convinced of the mind/body connection (stress, unhappiness etc. in the present) with illness and the immune system (including how thought affects recovery too!). It isn't so far a leap to consider that we might be storing long repressed emotions in the body as well as the subconscious. (Where is the subconscious? Lots of people speak as if it is entirely in the mind, but is it?... tangents for thought...)

Beyond the Pert book, a look at some articles and research can be found in the following links:

Norepinephrine Important In Retrieving Memories from Science Daily (2004)

Exercise Fuels the Brain's Stress Buffers from the APA (American Psychological Association)

'Good' Chemical, Neurons In Brain Elevated Among Exercise Addicts also from Science Daily (2003)

The magazine article: Laugh, Cry, Lift: Probing the Mysteries of the Fitness Floodgates

Molecules Of Emotion: The Science Behind Mind-Body Medicine by Candice Pert, PhD (1999)

A User's Guide to the Brain: Perception, Attention, and the Four Theaters of the Brain by John Ratey, MD (2002)

Somato Emotional Release: Deciphering the Language of Life by John Upledger, DO, OMM (2002)

The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life by Joseph LeDoux, PhD (1998)

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

After the VP Debate

Most of the thoughts are posted on Corner. But this little bit belongs here.

My twenty year old son registered to vote in the month before he turned 18- to be effective on his 18th birthday. He chose instead of a party and without any prodding on our part, to register as a "decline to state". In this home we have taught and valued independent thought, critical thinking and learning how to choose. I am rewarded by a son who is thoughtful and rational even when he does not always agree with my positions on various things and life issues. He thinks and decides for himself instead of blindly following or mouthing only other people's opinions.

After the debate, we (father, mother, son) were briefly discussing things like political party positions, how to sift the real from the promises, taxes etc and my son said: "If I were a multi-millionaire and sitting around my pool taking it easy every day, it is my obligation as a human being to help out those who are having more trouble. I would do that anyway, so paying a little more taxes shouldn't be that big a deal."

It brought to mind my watching him as a toddler putting pennies in all those "help me" coin boxes next to cash registers in various stores and having to explain why we couldn't afford to "adopt all" those starving kids on the television ads.

Oh yeah, proud Mom here.

Tuesday notes

Some days I barely have a chance to read the news, let alone visit my favorite blogs. Some days I only get a chance (by choice) to read a few blogs. Some days I post several times with things to say or places I wanted to note, and some days there are no words I want to share with the world.

Today I was quickly viewing pages from some of my favorite folks and stumbled across a few by Liz at I Speak of Dreams which referenced Bloggers born in various years (go check- she has before 1930, 1930's &1940's) and also referenced The Ageless Project (check that out and those sites too; for example there are 3 bloggers born in the twenties, 7 born in the thirties, 59 born in the forties, 179 born in the fifties! This looks like it might be a good project to support).

Clicking on a few links (I think from "I speak of Dreams", though I confuse easily sometimes) I found this site:
My Mom's Blog. Millie (born in 1925) tells and writes great stories.

Monday, October 04, 2004

New Toy

This is a very quick sketch (the 5th only ever) created using the Aiptek HyperPen 6000U

I really, really, really wanted a tablet/pen like this with over a thousand levels of pressure sensitivity, but settled for this one with 512 levels (at about a quarter of the price). Now to get used to using it.

Edit/Update.. well, gosh. I should have looked at the Aiptek site first. I could have purchased the thing directly from them, for much less than I paid for it!!!

Sunday, October 03, 2004

On October 3

Wikipedia October 3; Events, births, deaths, etc.

Things on this day per the BBC

From the AnyDay site; famous births, deaths, events

and not listed: My birthday!!

Unconscious Mutterings

Week 87
I say ... and you think ... ?
  1. Courage:: doing something despite being afraid
  2. Stamina:: endurance
  3. Leader:: not Bush
  4. Idea:: thought
  5. Rockstar:: the music is where my focus goes, I don't care about their lifestyle or personalities other than how it affects the music
  6. Dew:: on the grass in the mornings; not usually a feature of So Cal except in some places in the mountains
  7. Guards:: National - extended tours; no longer weekend warriors
  8. Lenny:: Kravitz
  9. Alliance:: coalition, individuals joined together in a common cause
  10. Cigarettes:: nicotine addiction
Want to play? Go to Unconscious Mutterings

Friday, October 01, 2004

Must Read please

Go Read Hold Your Fire. It's political, but well written and from an entirely different angle. He begins: "I had waited a long time for a perfect opportunity to photograph Los Angeles at night."

All of these things remind me of the quote from Pastor Neimoeller: "First they came for the Jews, but I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the Communists, and I did not speak out because I was not a Communist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for me, and no one was left to speak out for me."

Thanks to Brain Crayons for the link.

Little Bits- On Daily Life's Outer Edges

SpaceShipOne will make its next attempt on Monday, October 4. Unfortunately I can't go to Mojave that day. :-(

Mt. St. Helens is having some hiccups. volcano-cam here, Cascades Volcano Observatory pages here. The geologists must be having a great time. I sort of wish I was there, geology is one of my interests. USGS home pages here.. This would be a cool time to be teaching Intro to Geology.. Seismology, Vulcanology... way cool, with all the real life examples happening all around.

The debate -( written transcript )- last night was a win for Kerry, and Shrub fans might consider that their guy should have done a better job since he knew the questions before hand. More comments later at Corner of Babble.