Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Unconscious Mutterings Week 96

A little late...
I say ... and you think ... ?
  1. Limited time only:: sale or marketing come on
  2. Voluptuous:: ample curves
  3. Nutritionist:: expert knowledge of healthy eating
  4. Belt:: tighten
  5. Star crossed:: bad luck
  6. Snakeskin:: patterns
  7. Athlete’s foot:: yucky
  8. Boom:: increase
  9. Freezer:: food
  10. Store hours:: closed on holidays in good years; open on holidays in lean years
Want to play? Go to Unconscious Mutterings.

Unconscious Mutterings Week 96

A little late...
I say ... and you think ... ?
  1. Limited time only:: sale or marketing come on
  2. Voluptuous:: ample curves
  3. Nutritionist:: expert knowledge of healthy eating
  4. Belt:: tighten
  5. Star crossed:: bad luck
  6. Snakeskin:: patterns
  7. Athlete’s foot:: yucky
  8. Boom:: increase
  9. Freezer:: food
  10. Store hours:: closed on holidays in good years; open on holidays in lean years
Want to play? Go to Unconscious Mutterings.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Thanksgiving Weekend in the U.S.

"Love wholeheartedly, be surprised, give thanks and praise--then you will discover the fullness of your life."
-Brother David Steindl-Rast (from Belief net inspiration mailing)

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving full of laughter and love.

We got back from Fallbrook on Friday night. I confess to needing to reframe things. From a purely selfish mode, I am still wondering (only for a few moments) if the gathering together was worth the recovery time for the severe sleep deficits I incurred. Some new strange twists were added to the traditional aspects. But from a people observational mode, it was interesting to watch the dynamics and I always enjoy visiting with my sister. In some ways we grow more alike as we age. In others, we might as well have been raised on other planets.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Counseling Goals

I especially liked this definition and counseling goals from my practicum class.
"COUNSELING DEFINED: Counseling can be defined as an interaction in which the counselor focuses on client experience, client feeling, client thought and client behavior with the intentional responses to acknowledge, to explore, or to challenge.

COUNSELING GOALS: Counseling has specific goals, the first of which is to facilitate awareness. This is achieved by keeping the focus on the client, acknowledging feelings, experience and behavior. By exploring feelings and behavior and future options, the second counseling goal, healthy decision making, can be maximized. Further exploration and challenging can lead to the third goal of counseling, appropriate action, resulting in more fulfilling personal and social functioning."
From Basic Counseling Responses, 1999, James Hutchinson Haney and Jacqueline Leibsohn (Seattle University), Brooks/Cole Publishing.

Facilitate awareness
Maximize healthy decision making
Leading to appropriate action
Resulting in more fulfilling personal and social functioning

Of course they gloss over and almost avoid the part where I believe the client's values and goals should determine what constitutes appropriate action and fulfilling personal and social functioning. I don't have the answers, only sometimes I see a way to assist someone else in finding their answers or maybe at least help in finding and clarifying their questions. And those two things go a long way towards "maximizing healthy decision making leading to appropriate action" which can result in "more fulfilling personal and social functioning".

Re-reading Berne

I've been re-reading my Berne books (Transactional Analysis, Eric Berne, M.D). In "What do you say after you say hello", I am in the section where he is talking about programming- where we get the scripts, script controls and the counterscripts, etc. According to Berne, we usually get our script patterns from the parent of the same sex and the script controls from the parent of the opposite sex. There are a lot of other things of course, including that you can get scripts and counterscripts from the same parent, and there are more dynamics to this including which parts of which parent are giving us the scripts, controls and counterscripts, but before he goes into more detail he says this:

"The Fortune Cookie Theory of human living says that each child gets to pull two cookies from the family bowl: one square and one jagged. The square one is a slogan, such as "Work hard!" or "Stick with it!" while the jagged one is a scripty joker, such as "Forget your homework," "Act clumsy," or "Drop dead." Between the two, unless he throws them away, his life style and his final destiny are written."

I'm for throwing away those cookies and choosing ones of our own. But I am wondering if we are ever sure we got rid of all the crumbs?

Monday, November 22, 2004

and a Monday comes

"Service is the rent you pay for room on this planet." -Shirley Chisholm

"Memory is a child walking along the seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things." -Pierce Harris

from Belief net mailings

No time for a full post, but these two quotes caught my eye as I was trying to get through some of my email.

Two weeks are left in the quarter and then final exams to finish up. I am slowly drowning in papers to revise, projects to finish up and a sudden increase in actual paid work, along with reading that I am behind on, which must be done very soon. This post is more like a little cry in the dark- I am still here, don't forget me. Or maybe it is a plea for sympathy. ;-)

Sympathy is one of those things that seems smarmy for me to ask for or even hint at, yet usually makes me feel better when received. I wonder if the feelings (mine) associated with asking for sympathy or complaining "too much" have anything to do with a cultural or even familial sort of "suck it up" or "people are starving in_ fill in the blank_' attitude instilled early on?

Memories, even those negative ones, or maybe especially those negative ones, encoded with a child's special twist of interpretation- are powerful.

edited to make it more clear that it is my feelings about complaining and asking for sympathy that I am talking about, not others. I have always found it easier to concentrate on, sympathize with and even empathize with others, rather than to give myself the same consideration.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Unconscious Mutterings Week 94

I say ... and you think ... ?
  1. Reconnect:: with nature; with a special person; with friends from the past; join again
  2. Gearshiift:: small car, with a four or five speed manual transmission, rack and pinion steering, driving a nicely paved mountain road with S curves and turns... ah, yes... woman and machine as one unit; big smiles. The Camry's nice, but sometimes I miss my Opel. She had slightly better gas mileage too.
  3. Mania:: crazed response
  4. Manhattan:: never been... recovered?
  5. First date:: long ago, parents drove us
  6. District:: of Columbia
  7. Yearbook:: ughhhhhh... my picture was horrible
  8. Breakup:: had a few
  9. Episode:: one of a series of events
  10. Costume:: something some people put on every day along with a persona, as in work costume, play costume, exercise costume, etc.
Want to play? Go to Unconscious Mutterings.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Rat in an exercise wheel

Ever have days where everything seemed to require attention at once and everything you fixed would pop up again with a new twist?

I am having a series of those days.

I know that it feels that way in large part, because I am not noticing the things that are going right. But even knowing that it is my perception, doesn't seem to stop those new twists on the old problems coming from all directions. It feels a bit like a rat in an exercise wheel going no place fast.

When things are like this, my first impulse isn't to keep running in circles. My first impulse is to go to sleep and hope that it is all different when I wake up. But the rational part of me knows that none of it will go away that easily, and so I keep plugging away, hoping that the next turn will be one that leads to some progress, instead of spinning around again.


Sunday, November 14, 2004

Unconscious Mutterings Week 93

I say ... and you think ... ?
  1. Childhood:: not long enough
  2. Ransom:: King's
  3. Melissa:: know a couple
  4. Trust me:: two responses come to mind. The second is that I don't recall anyone who was trustworthy ever saying that to me.
  5. Report:: factual account
  6. Give up:: different than let go.
  7. Nightgown:: hmmm.. nothing PG-13 comes to mind
  8. Smokes:: pipe
  9. Cookies & cream:: ice cream? These two things aren't really linked in my mind; cookies makes me think of peanut butter cookies and milk or chocolate chip cookies and milk; cream only makes me think of baking pies or of whipped cream.
  10. Gameshow:: dislike them all, not quite as much as reality shows but a very close second
Want to play? Go to Unconscious Mutterings.

Friday, November 12, 2004


"Now my journey has been long and filled with many experiences. My future in this body form grows shorter. The pace of time moves very quickly, and I want to make the most of it. When I was a child, the milestones I counted were the number of years that I had lived, and the future seemed boundless. Now that the limits draw near, I reckon time by how much is left.

Yes, time is all I have, and yet I do not have it either. I cannot possess this moment because it is mercurial and constantly in motion. It is as Einstein said: "For us believing physicists, this separation between past, present, and future has the value of mere illusion, however tenacious."

It is easy to become a time miser or a time squanderer, but I am warned by the words of Thoreau: "As if you could kill time without injuring eternity." I do not wish to be like the man Kierkegaard told of, who was so busy all of his life that he did not know he was alive until he died. I want to "use" my time wisely. That hour of play that my mother gave me as a child seemed endless. Now, the hours go before I know it. The months, years, decades go by. The young can afford to waste time; the old hold on to it. I want only to savor it - to move in its flow both carefully and trustingly."
From Flying Without Wings. Arnold R. Beisser, M.D. (1988) (pg 13, special reprint edition, permission of Doubleday) (ISBN: 0385247702)

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Bits and trivia

Tuesday, I upgraded from Mozilla Firefox pre-release 1.0 to the official released 1.0 version and along with that added several extensions, including a Google Bar with all the bells and whistles and a "Blog This! button. There are a couple of things that the updated/upgraded one is doing that weren't occuring before, such as a link at the top of a page that is right clicked, goes off the screen with the options, including the 'open in a new tab' or 'open in a new window' choices. I can get around that in various ways, so no big deal. Whatever changes were made between when I downloaded the preview and downloaded the fully released version seem to slow it down just a little bit (but it could be Norton and not Firefox). But, overall, I am still very, very pleased with it.

Compared to MSIE, there is no contest. I would like a little more control over certain security aspects, but if you haven't tried it, you should.

My old version of Norton Internet Security expired in October, so I purchased the newest version of Norton Internet Security with NAV and Antispam. BIG mistake. It broke dozens of programs and/or gives me hassles with dozens of the rest, so it isn't worth it to me. It might be great for large companies or bigger machines than mine or something. I trust Symantec, but this product isn't for me. I am having trouble in setting up various parts of it. It recognizes me as "supervisor", but keeps telling me that I am not authorized to make changes (though it goes ahead and makes the changes at least on the screens that check status) and other error messages. It won't run an automatic nightly scan, and numerous other little glitches that suggest my downloaded copy from Symantec was not a good one. It also uses a huge amount of memory. I wrote to their tech support two days after I installed it. I am still waiting to hear from them. So I am going to download their shredder and ask for my money back. I want just NAV- a copy that works. I have other security software on the machine that can take care of the rest.

Final note of real trivia that has nothing to do with computer programs. I am a West Wing fan and was distressed at the seeming twists in the new season. I couldn't see a brand new person working in the role of the major character they were going to replace.

Tonight's episode made things all right. CJ is a good choice. I realized belatedly that it is in syndication all over the world including Australia and the UK. Since they are viewing or about to view, season 4 I think, I don't suppose I should spoil the things to come by talking about season 6. ;-)

added 05/05/05: If you are looking for more current information on Firefox, you will find a summary and link of every post I have made to date about the various versions of Firefox, any installation problems and my solutions; and within some of those posts are links to specific Firefox support forum threads. Firefox post list

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

sidetracked again

Sidetracked again while searching for something. Somehow both of these suit different themes that are undercurrents, but weren't what I was trying to find. I didn't intend to post more quotes today. But it has been a day filled with those 'start something and wind up doing ten something else's' days.

"The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers."
~ Erich Fromm in Man for Himself: An inquiry into the psychology of ethics

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there."
~ Rumi, in The Essential Rumi

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Three for Tuesday

"'Come to the edge,' He said. They said, 'We are afraid.' 'Come to the edge,' He said. They came. He pushed them...and they flew." ~ Guillaume Apollinaire

"Doubt of the reality of love ends by making us doubt everything." ~ Henri-Frédéric Amiel

"Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness." ~ Max Ehrmann

Monday, November 08, 2004


I was reaching high on a bookshelf for one of the Transactional Analysis books I own from the seventies? eighties? both? (Eric Berne and his pupils), and spied the Robert Fulghum book, "All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten; Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things". I haven't re-read it in a long time, so I grabbed that too while I was in the dusty part of the shelf. I don't know what it was doing in that section, lying sideways and still with bookmarks in various passages. But opening it up and re-reading the opening and then the first couple of chapters, I remembered exactly why I liked this man's thoughts.

Most everyone probably knows the kindergarten part, or some of it anyway, though I will be tempted to quote it here in a day or so. But perhaps everyone doesn't remember the part where he is explaining how he would write a personal statement of belief every year, and decided to try to get it down to one page.

The inspiration for brevity came to me at a gasoline station. I managed to fill an old car's tank with super-deluxe high-octane go-juice. My old hoopy couldn't handle it and got the willies - kept sputtering out at intersections and belching going downhill. I understood. My mind and my spirit get like that from time to time. Too much high-content information, and I get the existential willies - keep sputtering out at intersections where life choices must be made and I either know too much or not enough. The examined life is no picnic.

I realized then that I already know most of what's necessary to live a meaningful life - that it isn't all that complicated. I know it. And I have known it for a long, long time. Living it - well that's another matter, yes?

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Unconscious Mutterings Week 92

I say ... and you think ... ?
  1. Small Talk:: important social custom
  2. Evidence:: physical and factual; but still based on individual perception
  3. Drifting:: slowly going to someplace or no place
  4. Hostage:: prisoner, of one's mind, of culture, of approval, or of another human
  5. Beauty:: different for different people, mind's eye and all that; yet as a group, we are drawn toward similar patterns of symmetry that we tend to like more than others
  6. Automatic:: without thinking or without deliberately causing something to happen
  7. Asking for it:: usually said angrily, by small minds, thinking/hoping someone doing something that people disapprove of, will be punished
  8. Visene:: eye drops?
  9. No strings attached:: yeah, right
  10. Frizz:: crispy hair ends
Want to play? Go to Unconscious Mutterings.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

If you are still in political mode

I am wandering all around between things in my head today. In my head since Tuesday is the Buffalo Springfield/Steven Still's song: "For What It's Worth".

I posted some links, snippets and my comments in between at Corner: Aftermath echoes and stream of consciousness meandering in between. If you are still in political mode you might want to check out some of the things.

I am bouncing between personal angst, political concerns and 'Saturday chores to do'. Life moves on, no matter how much we might like it to stand still once in a while. I think its time for a quick mountain trip. Maybe Tuesday after errands or more likely Friday, if I don't have a paper to write (nagging little details that I can't find in my calendar and must look up). But I need the air and the change of scenery, along with the absence of city noise. I need to breathe some clarity and calm.

Live the truth of who you are

I was cleaning up my files and got sidetracked into trying to sort my quotation file when I found this:

"Admit to being frightened, and your courage will grow. Admit to not knowing, and you will learn. Admit your weaknesses, and you'll become stronger. Admit your mistakes, and you'll begin to move past them.

Admit you don't know what to say, and you'll have said just the right thing. Admit that you're confused, and you'll begin to understand. Admit that you're hurting, and you'll begin to heal. Admit that you care, and the things that truly matter will grow stronger.

Being honest with yourself, with others, with life, can often be difficult and intimidating. Yet honesty is always the most reliable, the most direct route to truly attain whatever you seek.

Any attempt to deceive will ultimately end up wasting your precious time. Live the truth of who you are, and it will bring out the best you can be."
~Ralph Marston

Friday, November 05, 2004

The power of humor

I wandered over to California Bloggin' v3.0 and found this: Out of the mouth of Babes
Thanks Anne, I really needed the smile.

Being honest with self

I started writing this last night, but it became too painful to finish. The sunlight and further thought made more things clear.

Removed post; sorry, too personal.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

There is work to do

Penny said: "One thing is certain, our future is in jeopardy"
and I started to write a comment, but it just kept growing larger. I decided it was a post, not a comment. I am not normally a pessimist, but I am definitely not a happy citizen right now and it is difficult to see any light in the tunnel.

On all fronts, our future seems in jeopardy. In my 32 years of voting, I have never been this fearful about the power of a limited few to alter so many aspects of life. I see soon to be appointed Supreme Court Justices who will interpret the Constitution in a fundamentalist manner, willing to overturn past rulings, the Bill of Rights and our freedoms encoded in that document imperiled by the likes of Ashcroft and others, War and our relationship with the rest of the world continuing in a downward spiral, the economy in upheaval and the widening gap between the rich and poor along with the continued loss of skilled jobs, the environment being raped for a few years of oil or the sake of a few dollars of profit, the civil rights of all people imperiled, to name only a few. This administration wants to send us in the direction of those dark futuristic novels and backwards from the progress we might have made in the past thirty years. Worse, now they feel they have a mandate to do bigger things, and more damage, even though they only barely won the popular vote.

I am dismayed (a mild word for what I feel) and cannot find peace and hope within, to trust it will all work out for the good. I fear a long fight within the country to attempt to halt the reverse direction Bush seems determined to travel. And I have no illusions about our ability to stop any of it.

I feel as if I ought to offer sympathy and hope to those who feel like me. At this moment, it is difficult to find anything except the strength to commiserate. But we must all come out of the dark feelings of despair and look towards what we can and must do in order to impede and slow the enactment of the visions of the administration and the ultra conservative Republicans. Our future and our children's future depend on it.

Get involved, stay informed, educate everyone you come in contact with and keep the hysteria to a minimum. Only cold hard facts convince people, and even then it is an uphill battle. People want to believe they are on the side of right. It will take an effort to convince any of the folks who voted for Bush that they were wrong. We have a Federal election in two years that could put more Democrats in Congress.

Work towards that new goal. I know it is mind numbing to think about, and the vision of the next four years is staggeringly dismal. But we have to drag ourselves up and work on now. It does no good to wallow in defeat.

We have work to do. No one said citizenship was easy.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Fearful for our future

I am deeply, deeply, upset and worried by this election and the direction the results seem to be heading. In the entire 32 years I have been voting, I have never felt this strongly and been this upset by the results of any election- until now.