Thursday, April 07, 2005


Being a divorced woman in a not particularly well fitting second marriage (of almost 22 years which I know says many things in itself) and in some moments contemplating going through a divorce for a second time, I can relate to some of the various things that Lorianne said at Hoarded Ordinaries: Aftershock.

This part really got to me though:
After having spent too much energy of late apologizing for ways I'd unwittingly offended simply by being myself, I reached the same point in friendship that I'd ultimately reached in marriage.
I don't know where that line is. Over and over in relationships, I have found myself stepping on eggshells around others for things that I am in any one given moment or for things that I lack, apologizing for being or doing certain things. There is a need to do that to some extent with others- it is how we get along, it is how we are kind and thoughtful and gentle with others... but where is the line? Where is enough? Where is it that I am giving up too large a part of me? Or maybe I am trying too hard to hold on to too much of me????? questions.. always a ton of them...

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