I find myself looking for an external source to lift me out of this grey sky filled gloom I have been feeling at the edges of everything for weeks and weeks... while knowing all the while that "it" will not be found externally, but rather internally. That is - I know I am both the source and the cure for this mood that overwhelms some moments.
Worse yet, I know I am seeking a reason to simply drop everything for a while- shut out deadlines, places to be and people demanding my time. I feel confined, imprisoned, being dragged along a path I didn't expect to be on and am not sure I like... and difficult to admit- I am feeling neglected and used up. Every single one of those things is entirely my own doing. I lost some balance somewhere and need to find it again.