Because it's late and I need a smile or two before I sleep:
On the State of the Union address:
"President Bush was interrupted forty times by applause and twice to look up a word in the dictionary." ~David Letterman
"Tonight in his speech, President Bush introduced his plan for Social Security. His plan: take the security part out of it." ~Jay Leno
That one is too true to be really funny, but it was a good line.
"Yesterday evening I went upstairs to find my wife flipping through the channels, hoping to catch a rerun of "The West Wing." I asked, rhetorically, "Anything on tonight?" "Nah," she said, flipping. "just the State of the Union Address. But I'd rather watch the fake president than the real one." ~Terry McCreary
And not political, from Stephen Wright, describing my current week::
"When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded"
My left mind is pretty crowded.