"Here's a truth I know: Every time I am rude or thoughtless, every time I am careless with someone's feelings, every time I call someone a name during a fight, every time I act in a way I know to be harmful as a way to feel relief from what I'm feeling (because that's the only reason we lash out at others -- to make ourselves feel better) I know I'm destroying my credibility as a loving human being."
It sounds like a truth to me, too.
Found via The Obvious?: I know, I know...
credited as Feith Stuart via How To Save The World: Temper, Temper (Dave Pollard)
Dave Pollard's article is worth reading in full. I use a variation of the five year question to stop myself from hasty, heated reactions- Will it matter the same in an hour, a day, a month, a year? It works when I stop myself long enough to ask. If I do, I am more reasoned and rational in my response when it does matter, and shrug off the rest. Even if it is only my little corner of the world, for that moment I haven't added to the distress- my own or others.
And that puts me in mind of an article that was referenced by Liz, at I speak of Dreams, that I meant to post about but then got sidetracked:
snip: "Throughout recorded history, every generation has probably bemoaned the decline of manners and civility. But what we see today is different. We have become a nation of cranks and scolds, of people who leap at every opportunity to wag a finger, or flip one. Just below the surface of our pretty-normal selves burbles the soul of an old lady with a shotgun across her lap."
snip: " We are behaving, frankly, the way people do who are under siege. They become angry and territorial because ... "
....(more of the article here- but the bottom line is below)
"Kindness, it appears, also opens the release valve. Might be a remedy worth exploring."