Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Vanishing thoughts

I was composing a blog post (or a couple) in my head on the way home from class. I did not have my tape recorder out, nor did I have a notebook open as I usually do to scribble half notes that will remind me of the key points of something I am thinking about. The topic was about jumping in to create change in one's life- about closing ones eyes, taking a giant leap and believing without much evidence that things will work out if you want them to. It was about returning to college after thirty years and arriving at this point; about taking a giant step in one direction without a well planned goal-only a vague one, and then finding purpose and a path that had fewer brambles than first appeared. I thought about having only partial trust in self and battered self-esteem, but finding and bolstering both of those along the way and about learning to trust all the messages that come from the heart and soul and tangents of all of those things... and then I arrived home.

The subject matter was still in my head; the words and thoughts were still tumbling around as I unlocked the door. Walking into the hallway, I was greeted with water flowing backwards out of a plumbing fixture downstairs from the shower draining upstairs.

All logical progression of previous thoughts stopped. All posts that might have been written - vanished. The details of daily life have a way of claiming immediate attention. The water is all cleaned up, but the thoughts are now only bare subjects with a few bones and no meat. Is there a lesson there somewhere or maybe several?

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