Tuesday, September 30, 2003

So very tired

I am sitting here on campus, having completed any studying and assignments I can do while I am here, and am slowly fading. I thought I had some caffeine tablets with me, but I don't. Yes, I usually prefer to get my coffee in pill form as the only kind of coffee I actually like these days is something called a "Vanilla Freeze" that I don't know the composition of and can't find on this campus.

It was a powdered mix to which was added a shot of expresso, crushed ice, possibly one other ingredient, and then the whole thing blended, topped with whipped cream and a touch of chocolate syrup. Rich? Yes. Yummy? Yes. And the zing it gave when I took econ late in the day was wonderful. That is what I need this moment to simply get through until 4:20PM. The class won't be over until 8PM.

Monday, September 29, 2003

Always thought provoking

whiskey river - no proof

All the recent entries are wonderful, but today's entry, this one, is about the "construction of who we believe we are".

Sunday, September 28, 2003

Typical

A regular sort of Sunday has evolved, with the usual laundry and a tiny taste of studying.

The assignment (to outline the first chapter of one of the texts) for the Sociology Writing Class is completed. I didn't learn anything I didn't already know before, although it was interesting to see someone else note that extreme structure in pre-work, in particular- formally, rigidly outlining the draft before writing it- can stifle creativity. I think this is a matter of individual thought processes, of brain organization, even though a great number of English professors seem to insist it is the only way to write effectively. I have always thought they were wrong. Seldom (or maybe never) is something the only effective way for everyone.

I have difficulty writing a rigid outline prior to writing a first draft of a paper. I do frequently use rough outlines that are combinations of notes, thoughts and phrases and sometimes look like a partial outline. They are usually a bit messy for someone else to follow, though they seem linear to me.

Saturday, September 27, 2003

This was an average Saturday, with chores, weekly restocking and the usual this and that. I didn't study, being out of the habit a bit. I will have to get into some sort of a routine or the ten week quarter will overwhelm me. I do have an assignment due for the soc writing class on Tuesday and of course reading.

I prefer living life as unscripted as possible, but none of the chore type stuff gets done until it absolutely must be when I leave everything unscheduled and unscripted, so the compromise is to have routines for a limited few crucial items that are required to make life flow easier the rest of the time. Laundry and weekly restocking are the crucial things and the ones most rigidly scheduled. The kitchen and studying come next, then everything else gets slotted into whatever time is left, usually as a 'catch as catch can' activity. Everyone does their own space, the guys also have to do "their" bathrooms and household trash removal, but I get left responsible for all the rest. I have to admit that vacuuming and dusting are low priorities, not because I don't like having them done, but because I dislike doing them.

on an entirely different note:
I found that the Clark- Leadership for America site with its National Conversation has been disbanded, but a group of the regular posters has created their own board for continuing conversations about policy, leadership and issues affecting the United States. This group were probably all interested in Clark, but there were folks from various political stripes participating previously. I am hoping the level of conversation remains the same. Intelligent, rational online conversation with a large group, that can disagree without flaming or being moderated to death, is difficult to find.

Friday, September 26, 2003

First day of fall classes for me

First impressions of the new Fall quarter:

Writing for Sociology is going to be boring. The instructor thinks no one knows anything about anything and she could be right about over half of them. She spent a great deal of time on what she called the 8 steps to a research project- including defining things like hypothesis and how collecting the data is one of the last steps (duh!). And instead of being able to choose a research topic and design a project- survey, observational or experiment- she is going to "give" us a topic. I am so tired of undergrad classes that are classified as "upper division", but taught as if everyone there was a freshman and 18 years old. Looking around, there are at least 4 people in their thirties, several in their late twenties, about half in their early twenties, a sprinkling of 20 year olds and me - the one getting AARP invites.

I would like to somehow use my prior observational experiment that I did in psych, but I am sure it would get nixed. I didn't look for other research about it when I designed it. I set it up, pretty much like her "8 steps", but with a lot more detail and care about the design of the entire project including the data collecting sheets. I looked at sex, race and ethnicity, gender, group or alone status, noted partial behavior as well as extra effort and left room for short notes as needed. Though I didn't include them in the final numbers in conclusions, I also have the sex of the observers, day of the week, hour of the day, different areas of campus etc. I never did run the numbers to see if any of those had an effect. I don't know if within my non random sample of 100 that I would have had enough of the other variables to check. It is social-psych but could qualify. Sample was an "opportunity sample", not random, but I have seen other "A" papers for the soc class and they also used a similar sampling for observational stuff. I should have run the numbers on mine, through the stat program on campus and obtained all the good numbers and pretty charts, instead of the ones I had.

As it turned out I disproved my hypothesis, at least on a community college campus. It is one of those kinds of things I was sure someone else had studied, but I wanted to do mine without seeing how someone else did it. I should have gone back later to see how the "experts" did it, just for the extra knowledge. It was enough to gain my prof's respect. I wonder if I could do it again, only use this campus and see if there were differences? What could I improve on design? What other variables should I collect? Could I recruit the actors needed? hmmmm...

The other class is an overview of ten of the most used psych theories and is probably going to be pretty good, even if it will be a repeat of many things I have already had/heard/read. There is 'how to use', practical application stuff and case studies that should also be interesting. It is a mixed grad/undergrad group but there are two of my fellow rehab services folks who are in the class. There are two M/C tests, one paper and that one is heavily slanted with personal examination along with a best liked theory and why along with a few other questions to cover that are also personal in regards to the chosen theory.

An entry to the class sort of survey was given tonight, with question/statements and multiple choices that I was unable to say this or that is always true. She said there were no wrong answers, but to me, anyone who chose only one answer to most of them would probably not make a good therapist. Everything should be about what the client needs, not about what the therapist thinks would be good for the client or how the therapist thinks the client ought to live his/her life. I wound up writing my answers or selecting two or more with a reasoning statement instead of choosing only one answer on over 90% of them. She had said if we couldn't find an answer we liked that we could write. I was the next to the last person to finish, which probably isn't necessarily a good thing.

The instructor has the degree I was exploring. It is a PsyD, which is a psychology doctorate but instead of research and a dissertation it is intensively clinic/therapy focused. The future PsyDoc spends the time working with people and is perfect for someone who probably won't or doesn't want to do - research. I like the clinical experience aspect. My concern is that it is still considered a "new" type of degree and might not earn the same respect from some. The other drawback is potential discrimination in applying for teaching positions. Teaching is something I want to do part time, but I am not interested in the University tenure type positions. I simply want to work with students, not play the university career game. I talked to her a bit about it, and will talk some more. She has had no problems, but her first teaching jobs were here and her undergrad and maybe masters is from here. I also want to put out feelers to other PsyDocs, to see what their experiences have been with this.

It is a long day and it will be my Tues/Thurs schedule for the next ten weeks. I do have a Monday afternoon class. The only good thing is that if I can get my sleep schedule rearranged and my body to cooperate in returning to an early morning person, then I will have a couple of days a week off in addition to the weekend.

Already it is past midnight and though I am tired, I am still awake. This is not a good start to forming a new sleep pattern!

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Dave Winer's Test Site: What is friendship?

Dave Winer's Test Site: What is friendship?: "Friendship is not about always being nice, or agreeable, far from it. A friend will tell you when he or she thinks you're full of shit, but always casts it that way, never as a statement of fact. It's a fine but important distinction. If I say 'you're full of shit' to a friend, it must be understood that this is my opinion only. Further, it's more likely that he or she is not the one who's so full, it's more likely that I am. That's why I cringe when someone, in the name of friendship, says this to me. Usually they're wrong, but there's no point arguing, they're in some kind of trance, pedaling hard to avoid looking at something they desperately want to avoid."

The whole entry is worth reading and remembering. I know this on one level as it applies to counseling, but it is so easy to forget when examining self.

More: "At first it was totally irritating, then I figured it out. All the things I wanted my girlfriend to do, to be like, were actually things I wanted of myself, and of course were tapes I recorded in early life, before any glimmer of consciousness."

hmmmm

Ventricular Septal Defects

Well as it turns out, though the heart symptoms that sent me to the specialists two years ago are probably not related, it seems I do have some mild problems as indicated by the echocardiogram then. One is a possible very small ventricular septal defect probably there since birth and the other (s?) is/are mild mitral and tricuspid regurgitation- ie. a little backflow from the valves. If only the cardiologist had returned my call back then, I would have gone to see the people when it was uppermost on my mind. Funny how I know everything there is to know about the other family members medical idiosyncrasies and very little about my own.

I dislike going to a doc for a physical because they always find all these other tests that they want. This time is no exception. I will spend the next few weeks going to various specialists, updating various tests, so that they can tell me that there is nothing to do about the little minor annoyances that occur as one's body begins to wear out a teeny bit.

Blown away

Reading news, science journal sites and reading the comments in the world of bloggers has taken up some time. I try to limit it to only an hour or two a day, but it can get a little addictive. I have created an "a list" of bloggers that are must reads and are an eclectic group. I am blown away by the amount of content and thought in the blogging world. The depth is amazing and I am a bit humbled. Some of them are linked in various posts in "Corner of Babble". Some are more worthy of mention than others, but I post as I find them and around every corner more cross my path.

Monday, September 22, 2003

And the week starts

I am starting the week with low energy. Maybe it is the reduced physical activity of the past few weeks that has contributed to this, or maybe it is the low mental energy that is combining with everything else... and that of course could be a symptom of an attitude problem for which the cure-- is to change the attitude.

Classes start this week. My first two are on Thursday, but it will be a long day. This whole schedule has good and bad aspects. It is better to think of the "half full" aspects of this.

I may head over to campus on Tuesday, the day before all classes start officially to check the financial aid office for lines and hopefully help and then the bookstore to see if I can get a list of books. There are much better/cheaper places to buy books if I can make an accurate list.

Sunday, September 21, 2003

mini rant

Isn't/Wasn't there some kind of law that prohibits advertising on television to be broadcast louder than the programs? Aren't cable companies also responsible for this? Maybe all of that is a myth. My cable company certainly isn't complying; not only are the local ads about three clicks higher than the sound level of the regular programs, the national ads are at least two clicks above the level as well. It is all very annoying and it seems to have gotten worse since Comcast took over from AT&T Cable.