"If you desire an hour's happiness, take a nap. If you desire a day's happiness, go fishing. If you desire a month's happiness, get married. If you desire a year's happiness, inherit a fortune. If you desire a lifetime's happiness, help someone else." ~Chinese Proverb
(1001 Pearls of Wisom. David Ross. 2006. Duncan Baird Publishers, London)
Tuesday is the day I work into the night. Hmmmmm, is there a better way to phrase that?
At some point in the afternoon, what is on my mind is a nap, but my goal of the day is, of course, helping some specific folks in my client list take another eighth, quarter, or bigger step towards some specific goals. I do feel happy when they succeed at making some forward progress; I have some definite opposite feelings when there is backwards momentum. It would seem that could be a little too much personal investment in the outcome instead of being in the moment and keeping the process flexible...
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Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Monday, October 09, 2006
choice, change, error
"No man's error becomes his own law, nor obliges him to persist in it."
~Thomas Hobbes
Though, some errors are harder to walk away and start over from...
I'm not sure why I chose that quote tonight. I couldn't seem to settle down and pick a single topic, yet somehow that quote stuck in my thoughts. I've made more than a few errors in choice that seemed to set the tone and road for my life for years after. But upon reflection, I know those were a choice too.
On a less self involved note, world and political events have become a surreal nightmare growing stranger and more foreboding by the day.
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~Thomas Hobbes
Though, some errors are harder to walk away and start over from...
I'm not sure why I chose that quote tonight. I couldn't seem to settle down and pick a single topic, yet somehow that quote stuck in my thoughts. I've made more than a few errors in choice that seemed to set the tone and road for my life for years after. But upon reflection, I know those were a choice too.
On a less self involved note, world and political events have become a surreal nightmare growing stranger and more foreboding by the day.
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Sunday, October 08, 2006
Unconscious Mutterings Week 192
I say ... and you think ... ?
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- Opinion :: public; tide turning
- Tardy :: paperwork
- Peer pressure :: seldom
- Grownup :: yup, that's me
- ! :: really
- Beer :: Oktoberfest
- Sit :: for a spell
- Shower :: rain
- Consumate :: with another "m", completion
- Wasting :: "away again in margaritaville"... looking for my lost shaker of salt"...
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Saturday, October 07, 2006
crumbs
"Agenda for today; breathe out, breathe in, breathe out." Buddha
Actually as usual of late, I have a list for today which doesn't have much room for breathing.
I apologize for the silence. I've had too many words in my head for too long... words about my sister, family, fears.. words about stress and coping... words about politics and world events... words about job interviews and work... words about creating a new atmosphere and fresh start in our new home... words about autumn and the subtle changes in the air... optimistic and reflective words about the start of my new year- which always starts in October...
Night after night, the words were crowding in, tumbling, each set clawing upwards to claim priority, until I thought my head would burst. I tend to back out and down during those kinds of cycles- take time to reflect on all of it including why my perception is of too many and too much- but I didn't mean to take such a long time to get back here.
I see the sidebar needs fixing and there are various blog cleaning chores that need attending. I need to re-create my formerly pleasant habit of cruising the blogs of others, reading my favorite folks thoughts. I am going to try leave some confetti and crumbs here regularly, too.
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Actually as usual of late, I have a list for today which doesn't have much room for breathing.
I apologize for the silence. I've had too many words in my head for too long... words about my sister, family, fears.. words about stress and coping... words about politics and world events... words about job interviews and work... words about creating a new atmosphere and fresh start in our new home... words about autumn and the subtle changes in the air... optimistic and reflective words about the start of my new year- which always starts in October...
Night after night, the words were crowding in, tumbling, each set clawing upwards to claim priority, until I thought my head would burst. I tend to back out and down during those kinds of cycles- take time to reflect on all of it including why my perception is of too many and too much- but I didn't mean to take such a long time to get back here.
I see the sidebar needs fixing and there are various blog cleaning chores that need attending. I need to re-create my formerly pleasant habit of cruising the blogs of others, reading my favorite folks thoughts. I am going to try leave some confetti and crumbs here regularly, too.
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Monday, August 14, 2006
more sweat needed
"War has been more common than peace, and extended periods of peace have been rare in a world divided into multiple states" ~Donald Kagan
"The more we sweat in peace, the less we bleed in war." ~Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit
When does the cost of hatred and war become too high to pay? Are we there yet?
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"The more we sweat in peace, the less we bleed in war." ~Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit
When does the cost of hatred and war become too high to pay? Are we there yet?
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Sunday, August 13, 2006
Unconscious Mutterings Week 184
It isn't that I don't have things to say, but I've too many of them and not enough time to smoothe out some of the words. Perhaps in lieu of all I've been thinking and feeling, I can ease back into regular blogging with this little exercise.
I say ... and you think ... ?
Weekly word list can be found at Unconscious Mutterings
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I say ... and you think ... ?
- Kim :: Jong-il
- Designate :: a driver
- Liner :: eye
- Weed :: herb
- Infusion :: herbal
- Nutritious :: fruits and veggies
- Favorites :: many
- Transform :: into opposites
- 42 :: the answer to the ultimate question about life, the universe, and everything
- Sunday afternoon :: never long enough
Weekly word list can be found at Unconscious Mutterings
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Friday, July 21, 2006
Searching for truths and strawberries
..."Investigative efforts, even supposed objective scientific ones, cannot yield truths that transcend the assumptive mind-sets of the investigators. Thus, searching for needles of transcendent, extracommunal, objective truth in theoretical haystacks is an epistemically indefensible act." ... ~James T. Hansen. Counseling Theories Within a Postmodernist Epistemology: New Roles for Theories in Counseling Practice. Journal of Counseling and Development. Summer 2006. V. 84
I have been trying to read this journal article for a few days. I keep letting my mind wander and pretty soon, I am moving about unpacking some box or another. Bits and pieces of things the author says, fit perfectly with the framework of my personal group of counseling theories and my "theory of counseling" which is to use the tools that work/fit for the client in front me- not necessarily the theories which are the most comfortable, but the ones that I feel are closest to the client's frame of reference. ... (that is, when I get to counsel.. mostly I am instructor, teacher, modeler of behavior, motivator, promptor and chief listener.)
But the boxes nag at me.
I found my strawberry print curtains to hang in my kitchen. They are white and sheer with a red trim at the top and strawberries with leaves and flowers scattered about around the edges in a neat pattern. So I washed and hung curtains, in the kitchen, in the bedrooms, and thought about when I bought those strawberry ones-- back in 1979 or so. I have ceramic kitchen canisters to match along with a giant strawberry cookie jar. I hadn't thought about any of them for years as they were packed away in the old home.
A bit of exciting news to tell. I was one of those selected for the second interview (one on one this time) with the agency that funds and oversees the various assistance for people with developmental disabilities. This is a job that I can do, would enjoy and will adequately pay the bills and then some. It isn't the dream job of counseling on a college campus (and the pay is about 12 thousand less), but it is at the high end of the scale for working with the folks/population I've come to enjoy. And case management for many clients is in some respects, much easier for me than weekly visits to the same clients. I still get to see each one, but take a step back and look at the bigger picture and help set the short and long term goals.
All my joy and fun stuff comes with a counterpart. My sister got an infection immediately (within a few hours) after they put in a port, so she is in the hospital getting the massive doses of antibiotics and the next dose of chemotherapy is postponed. It is scary and frustrating for me because I can't do a thing but send as many positive thoughts, healing light and energy in her direction as I can... prayer in my own way. Please add yours.
I don't know where truth and reality lie, only that they are subjective for us all. The doctors see a patient, a human organism with a problem (or probably more accurately for some, they see a problem with a patient attached); the legal departments are probably wondering if they are seeing a future lawsuit. I see my sister, my only sibling, the one connected to my heart, having a rough time, but being a tough cookie about it so far. Same infection, same patient, same everything from different perspectives.
But I found my strawberries and I will finish that journal article by and by... Life marches onward. I don't know what it means, or where any truths might be- yours or mine. But the sun will come 'round again in a few hours. That might be truth enough for the moment.
#
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I have been trying to read this journal article for a few days. I keep letting my mind wander and pretty soon, I am moving about unpacking some box or another. Bits and pieces of things the author says, fit perfectly with the framework of my personal group of counseling theories and my "theory of counseling" which is to use the tools that work/fit for the client in front me- not necessarily the theories which are the most comfortable, but the ones that I feel are closest to the client's frame of reference. ... (that is, when I get to counsel.. mostly I am instructor, teacher, modeler of behavior, motivator, promptor and chief listener.)
But the boxes nag at me.
I found my strawberry print curtains to hang in my kitchen. They are white and sheer with a red trim at the top and strawberries with leaves and flowers scattered about around the edges in a neat pattern. So I washed and hung curtains, in the kitchen, in the bedrooms, and thought about when I bought those strawberry ones-- back in 1979 or so. I have ceramic kitchen canisters to match along with a giant strawberry cookie jar. I hadn't thought about any of them for years as they were packed away in the old home.
A bit of exciting news to tell. I was one of those selected for the second interview (one on one this time) with the agency that funds and oversees the various assistance for people with developmental disabilities. This is a job that I can do, would enjoy and will adequately pay the bills and then some. It isn't the dream job of counseling on a college campus (and the pay is about 12 thousand less), but it is at the high end of the scale for working with the folks/population I've come to enjoy. And case management for many clients is in some respects, much easier for me than weekly visits to the same clients. I still get to see each one, but take a step back and look at the bigger picture and help set the short and long term goals.
All my joy and fun stuff comes with a counterpart. My sister got an infection immediately (within a few hours) after they put in a port, so she is in the hospital getting the massive doses of antibiotics and the next dose of chemotherapy is postponed. It is scary and frustrating for me because I can't do a thing but send as many positive thoughts, healing light and energy in her direction as I can... prayer in my own way. Please add yours.
I don't know where truth and reality lie, only that they are subjective for us all. The doctors see a patient, a human organism with a problem (or probably more accurately for some, they see a problem with a patient attached); the legal departments are probably wondering if they are seeing a future lawsuit. I see my sister, my only sibling, the one connected to my heart, having a rough time, but being a tough cookie about it so far. Same infection, same patient, same everything from different perspectives.
But I found my strawberries and I will finish that journal article by and by... Life marches onward. I don't know what it means, or where any truths might be- yours or mine. But the sun will come 'round again in a few hours. That might be truth enough for the moment.
#
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Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Home is...
"A house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams." (~unknown)
"Home is not where you live, but where they understand you"
~Christian Morganstern
(do they understand??? I'm thinking yes sometimes, no, often; then again, perhaps they understand all too well!!)
"Home is the place where it feels right to walk around without shoes" (~unknown) (especially when you can't find them)
Escrow closed last week on Monday afternoon. The new condo is really ours!! We finished moving in on Sunday (going a few hundred feet with eighteen years of junk by two over the hill folks with some sporadic young'uns helping, took 4 1/2 days). We're very happy and also very stressed still, but it is getting slightly better day by day. The bruises and muscle strains are starting to heal; Aching old bones (husband's and self) are also recovering. We're starting to sleep a little better.
When we got the keys (a couple days after closing), the electricity had been turned off and it would take two days to get utilities transferred and turned on and the deliveries of appliances and so on (which was good considering they had been scheduled and postponed four times!!).... except for cable, which isn't on even now. I'm posting this by dial-up. I only just hooked up the computer tonight.
I can't find any specific thing in any particular moment, and the last boxes packed have the sort of mish-mash, hurried, thrown together mix that I swore I wouldn't do. There are boxes in the house sitting in all corners, walls, at the feet of beds, at the edge of closets, and filling the garage.
Did I say I can't find anything?? Of course, I can find anything when I don't need it urgently. I find things when I am looking for something else, and then can't remember where I saw them when I want them.
I've a few pictures pre-moving, but I can't find the thing to unload the camera, so that will have to wait. I think I need to do some laundry if I could just find the laundry baskets. We're still eating on paper plates and having microwaved meals, but with the real silver utensils. It's a comedy, even when it's exasperating.
"Home is where you hang your head" ~Groucho Marx
;-)
Oh ... I almost forgot. I had a job interview in the middle of the move! Nothing like a little stress on stress to change one's sleep patterns.
#
"Home is not where you live, but where they understand you"
~Christian Morganstern
(do they understand??? I'm thinking yes sometimes, no, often; then again, perhaps they understand all too well!!)
"Home is the place where it feels right to walk around without shoes" (~unknown) (especially when you can't find them)
Escrow closed last week on Monday afternoon. The new condo is really ours!! We finished moving in on Sunday (going a few hundred feet with eighteen years of junk by two over the hill folks with some sporadic young'uns helping, took 4 1/2 days). We're very happy and also very stressed still, but it is getting slightly better day by day. The bruises and muscle strains are starting to heal; Aching old bones (husband's and self) are also recovering. We're starting to sleep a little better.
When we got the keys (a couple days after closing), the electricity had been turned off and it would take two days to get utilities transferred and turned on and the deliveries of appliances and so on (which was good considering they had been scheduled and postponed four times!!).... except for cable, which isn't on even now. I'm posting this by dial-up. I only just hooked up the computer tonight.
I can't find any specific thing in any particular moment, and the last boxes packed have the sort of mish-mash, hurried, thrown together mix that I swore I wouldn't do. There are boxes in the house sitting in all corners, walls, at the feet of beds, at the edge of closets, and filling the garage.
Did I say I can't find anything?? Of course, I can find anything when I don't need it urgently. I find things when I am looking for something else, and then can't remember where I saw them when I want them.
I've a few pictures pre-moving, but I can't find the thing to unload the camera, so that will have to wait. I think I need to do some laundry if I could just find the laundry baskets. We're still eating on paper plates and having microwaved meals, but with the real silver utensils. It's a comedy, even when it's exasperating.
"Home is where you hang your head" ~Groucho Marx
;-)
Oh ... I almost forgot. I had a job interview in the middle of the move! Nothing like a little stress on stress to change one's sleep patterns.
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Sunday, July 09, 2006
Unconscious Mutterings Week 179
I say ... and you think ... ?
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- Face it :: "it" has been many things over a lifetime of self examination, and will likely be many more
- Healthy :: living
- Cartoon :: character
- Device :: driver
- Raider :: s, Oakland
- Closer :: as in "The Closer" with Kyra Sedgewick,
or closer to closing escrow --as in Monday, July 9, cross your fingers!! - Admission :: entrance
- Culture :: segments
- Stakes :: high
- Heartbroken :: have felt
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Wednesday, July 05, 2006
and in between....
"Evermore in the world is this marvelous balance of beauty and disgust, magnificence and rats" ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
"We come. We go. And in between we try to understand."~Rod Steiger
What a roller coaster couple of months. I know I posted in June, but only barely.
To catch up...
Escrow is almost closed on our new home- it should fund today, and maybe we can even get keys tomorrow... but maybe Friday... or Saturday... or Sunday. That part is frustrating, as the date keeps moving outward (not by our choice). I've not boxed up everything in the house, but much of it is in boxes. There is so much stuff left, I am kinda ready to just throw things in boxes until each one is full, make a half hearted attempt to label and worry about it later. But I will keep slogging along and hopefully the date will firm up today.
Here is a pic of the front of our new location:
I will be in much better shape when the move is finished. Life has thrown a lot of curves in between the high-highs of purchasing our home.
My dear old cat died... and I was with him at the end. It was very sad, but not unexpected.
I managed to break a bone or two in my foot, which has added a wrinkle or two into the whole moving and packing ordeal...
And my "baby" sister was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. It hasn't spread to any other organs or her bones which is good, but it is very large. She has started chemo, then will have surgery and probably more chemo and/or possibly radiation. I told her she is not allowed to leave before I do.
Please, please, please, keep her in your thoughts and prayers. Send what positive energy you can in her direction.
As soon as this move is over and I have half a home set back up (in a few days or a week or so?), I will return to posting regularly. Honest. Yes, I will.
I miss everyone. I miss reading everyone and feeling a tiny part of community. I'll be back.
#
"We come. We go. And in between we try to understand."~Rod Steiger
What a roller coaster couple of months. I know I posted in June, but only barely.
To catch up...
Escrow is almost closed on our new home- it should fund today, and maybe we can even get keys tomorrow... but maybe Friday... or Saturday... or Sunday. That part is frustrating, as the date keeps moving outward (not by our choice). I've not boxed up everything in the house, but much of it is in boxes. There is so much stuff left, I am kinda ready to just throw things in boxes until each one is full, make a half hearted attempt to label and worry about it later. But I will keep slogging along and hopefully the date will firm up today.
Here is a pic of the front of our new location:
I will be in much better shape when the move is finished. Life has thrown a lot of curves in between the high-highs of purchasing our home.
My dear old cat died... and I was with him at the end. It was very sad, but not unexpected.
I managed to break a bone or two in my foot, which has added a wrinkle or two into the whole moving and packing ordeal...
And my "baby" sister was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. It hasn't spread to any other organs or her bones which is good, but it is very large. She has started chemo, then will have surgery and probably more chemo and/or possibly radiation. I told her she is not allowed to leave before I do.
Please, please, please, keep her in your thoughts and prayers. Send what positive energy you can in her direction.
As soon as this move is over and I have half a home set back up (in a few days or a week or so?), I will return to posting regularly. Honest. Yes, I will.
I miss everyone. I miss reading everyone and feeling a tiny part of community. I'll be back.
#
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